Motherhood is a lot of bending and picking up. It is stooping to tie shoes and kiss boo-boos. Kneeling to clean up spills, tuck in sheets, scrub out disgusting toilets, plant a kiss on top of soft heads; lowering oneself to grab a toddler's hand or hug a pre-teen who has had a rough day.Motherhood is bending, stooping, humbling.
It is choosing to be the least on the totem pole. It is being the one who gets up the earliest and gets to sleep latest at night after the day is done. It is giving up a sausage at breakfast for a child who wants another, saying you're really too full to eat another scone, or pouring out of your own cup into another's. It is all day pouring out, watering, nourishing, giving.
I'll admit, I don't take to being the least very contentedly.
I grumbled at morning sickness that lasted all day and my body being a living sacrifice. I grumble that no reprieve is given - that meals must be cooked by me, lessons must be completed by me, laundry must be done by me...
I grumble that there is no break. I do it quietly and inwardly, but still, I grumble.
And I pray dearly for God to change my heart.
It is selfish ambition, this wishing to be served. Wishing to be stooped to. "Where selfish ambition is there is disorder" is a paraphrase from the book of James. Is it any wonder that so many mother's first complaint is against disorder (from Stong's Concordance: instability, a state of disorder, disturbance, confusion, dissension)in the home? When the atmosphere of my heart is on pity for self, one of the first things I notice is disorder in our home. King David cried out to God to turn his heart towards the Lord's laws and away from selfishness.
I cry this too.
I know He (who stooped lowest, bent to be crushed, humbled to die) hears too every cry, every prayer, every plea for grace from you, dear mama, as you stoop and humble and become a servant of all.