Weekly Menu

I haven't posted a weekly menu in a while -but since we're attempting to cut gluten out of Sean's diet for the present, I really needed to think our menus through, since a little more prep will be involved.

Do you do gluten free? If you do, can you leave me a comment with any of your favorite resources/cookbooks/websites? I would love that...

Sunday am - kefir smoothies, feta strata
dinner- Symeons chicken on lettuce, sorbet

Monday am- granola or cereal with milk and banana slices
lunch -chicken salad, cultured pickles
dinner- beef steaks, rosemary roasted potatoes, green beans, chocolate truffle cookies

Tuesday am- pumpkin cornbread, kefir smoothies
lunch- tuna salad on lettuce
dinner- potato latkes with smoked salmon and dill sour cream

Wednesday am - tapioca with caramelized bananas
lunch- Greek yogurt, homemade granola bars
dinner- buckwheat noodles with soy/ginger/garlic sauce, salad

Thursday am- cranberry oat flour scones, hot tea
lunch- leftover Asian buckwheat noodles, apple slices
dinner- beef stew, cornbread

Friday am- oatmeal with peaches and milk
lunch- hummus with carrot sticks and corn nachos, apple slices
dinner- fish with coconut rice, organic corn, Rachel's cookies

Saturday am- sweet corn pancakes, orange julius
lunch- beef veggie soup, applesauce
dinner- beef roast with root veggies

Book Winner!

Melissa said:

"I really appreciate James McDonald and the way he speaks truth. I would love to win this book and then be able to pass it along after I'm done reading it."

Per random.org, Melissa, you are the winner of James McDonald's new book. Send me an email at the link at the top of the page with your address and I'll send it out! Congratulations and enjoy!

A Too Long Post

The papa sits with his bundle, a gift from the children and I for Christmas, a set of carving tools for the carpenter. In his hand a board of plain but untouched wood, beautifully grained and smooth to the touch. Potential. His rough hand runs over it before I grimace and watch him cut that first slice into it. It seems I can feel down deep in my soul that cut. Me replacing the board in Someone else's hands.



When I am alone, I ask Him, "As broken as I feel... am I to be broken further? Am I to the half way point yet, Lord? Where now I can look forward to the mend, the healing, the road back to normal... or is there more to endure?" In my mind, I am thinking: "I can't take much more of this. I want normal. I want sane. I want reliable earth under my feet."


He answers,
unhurried and calm as the lake on a breeze-less day.

" 'A bruised reed He will not break...'

Isaiah said that about Me, you know."

And I remember. I hang on those words for days.

Then He asks:

"Do you really want to go back there

... to your 'normal'?"

He lays the question out before me and at first I scoff, OF COURSE I do. I crave normal! Who likes feeling everything so deeply?

Then I think of the past summer, some of the conversations Sean and I had...good conversations. I think of Addie's coming and the upheaval, like birthing her opened a dam within me. I think of the mourning now behind me, the flame of healing lit within me and the resolution that I would call things as they were and daily, daily, daily begin my day with praising Him. And I do.

Meanwhile, He carves on. Hands sure and steady and intentional with His sharp tools.


"Probably not," I answer, sweeping the old "normal" off the list of hopefuls in my mind.
"I just want to know... You won't leave me this way, right? I mean.... whatever it is that You are doing in me, this making me absurdly emotional and soft and pliable and extremely mush-like... I'm not going to stay half-baked or half-done forever, am I?"

Slow and deliberate, He anwers:

"'I am confident of this very thing, He who began a good work

in you will perform it

until the day of Christ Jesus...'

do you remember that one?"

I look it up. Philippians 1:6. And then I look up "perform" in the concordance and find:
Perform: from the Greek word epiteleo:
1) to bring to an end, accomplish, perfect, execute, complete
a) to take upon one's self

"So I won't be broken forever, lonely forever - like winter will never end and I hate the dark and cold and the silence of not having community around us, all this won't be blaring in my ears forever, sort of broken?" I'm sobbing now. Really. This is lousy. I hate crying. I'm a grown woman, I should have stopped crying when I was...like ten, right? Bleh.

He whispers. I promise He does. In our cries of desperation, He'll never stand cold and silent. To my brokenness, He speaks completeness. And I am realizing that what I call broken, He sees as opportunity. What I see as bare and open and raw, He sees as a bit of brown earth and plugs in something to grow.

His answer:

"And you are complete in Me,

which is the head of all principality and power."

I look that one up to. Colosians 2:10 and then because I'm a nerd, I look up the Greek and hang.on.every.word for *complete*. Everything I am so not feeling right now. All the questions I've been asking, I'm sure I've been to God like the four year old who asks "why" to everything but He silences me, stills my soul on the word *complete*:
Before me I read, from the Greek word pleroo:

1) to make full, to fill up, i.e. to fill to the full
a) to cause to abound, to furnish or supply liberally

1) I abound, I am liberally supplied

2) to render full, i.e. to complete
a) to fill to the top: so that nothing shall be wanting to full measure, fill to the brim
b) to consummate: a number

1) to make complete in every particular, to render perfect

2) to carry through to the end, to accomplish, carry out, (some undertaking)
c) to carry into effect, bring to realisation, realise

1) of matters of duty: to perform, execute

2) of sayings, promises, prophecies, to bring to pass, ratify, accomplish

3) to fulfil, i.e. to cause God's will (as made known in the law) to be obeyed as it should be, and God's promises (given through the prophets) to receive fulfilment

Really, it is a beautiful promise. For you and for me. Where I lack, He shores me up, when I'm dry and pasty and empty, He fills me to overflowing, and so I'm blaming all these extra emotional, can't watch/hear/talk about a news story or see a refugee or think the word "orphan" or hear ugliness spoken in haste, or hear of another family breaking apart without BAWLING. Yes, I blame this on Him. I do. And I thank Him. Because I was a pretty stoic woman back in my "normal" and now I *think* I feel what He feels and my kids are just going to have to get used to a blubbering mama. :)

~ It is Valentines morning. The kids are giggly and scurrying and whispery and the empty pink tissue box that steps in as our valentine mail box is plopped on the breakfast table, brimming with papers cut and pasted and envelopes licked in shades of red and pink. The papa is the mailman and our kids gush and giggle over the mail from each other. He slides his hand, palm down, in front of me, looks me in the eyes and kisses me. Underneath his hand is a wood pendant, a flower missing one petal carved beautiful and smooth. Eyes full of life, I read his inscription on the back. "To Hannah: that you may always know summer and never winter. Love, Sean."

Winter drives

Out for scenic drives during the winter, we've seen some beautiful (and could-be-beautiful)places:

I felt an odd affinity for this gal, the only strawberry blond in a sea of dark hair.... :)

In the kitchen

Having older children, I often rely on their help in the kitchen and forget just how much fun working with a younger child is. Eleanora amazed me with her crazy pasta making skills. I showed her how to work the dough from a thick setting to a thin one and keep her fingers away when she fed it through the roller. We had so much fun!

Happy Valentines Day, my Love

"Papa's love makes Mama beautiful"

:her sweet voice holds the same clarity as the blue, blue eyes looking up at me with this rich revelation of hers, not the first one beyond her years, but still, its truth brings a catch in my throat. She can be so matter of fact and serious.

All the kids tucked into bed and a soft kiss on her four year old white blond head, I settle my heart on her statement. What once he spent summers doing, as a boy and a young man, engrained itself into his character. In simple language, Sean is a builder and fixer by nature, taking the broken and worn and making it beautiful. It has been no different with my heart.

If I am kinder than I once was, and how I hope I am, it has been the softening of character brought forth by his patient love. In one sense, I wish I could tell you how I was as a young woman, all the hurts and anger I built into my wall of "I AM WOMAN", subject to no one, self-empowered yet seeking to please everyone by never having a contrary opinion, avoiding conflict at all cost... and yet, that person is so far removed, like looking back and remembering someone else's story from long, long ago that I am ashamed of her and wish to hide her in the past.

Sean has loved me when I've been unlovable and bound up my wounds when I've been broken. Gently rubbed out leg cramps in the middle of the night, encouraged and exalted me through six labors and held me as I fell apart when we were told our son Aiden had perhaps a few months to live with his kidneys and when we lost our wee babe and in the torrents of life that have suffered to drown and left me gasping for air.

He's encouraged me to be a dreamer, wistful for farming and babies and narrowing the line between work and home until one day they are one. I've never been "stupid" or "a fool" or an "idiot" or a "jerk", though I'm sure many times I've been all of those. In my almost twenty years of knowing him, he's never called me a name or belittled me. It has simply never happened. All physical applications aside, beauty tends to blossom under an atmosphere of gentleness.

I haven't much vanity and tend to see beauty everywhere but in myself, but how I love that I hold appeal in Sean's eyes. I hope the beauty our daughter called out and saw comes from the rich kind deep within and if it does I *know* Sean's responsible, as she said. In short, he's been the hands and heart of Jesus to me.

This is the fifteenth year he's been my Valentine and I really am so, so, so incredibly blessed by the gift he is in my life.
Happy Valentines Day, my love.

"He makes everything beautiful in its time."

Home

Saturday evening Sean and Annaliese took off for the evening church service while I cozied up here with the other kids, three of who were just coming down with colds, feeling a bit feverish and quite boogery.

Movie on and knitting in hand, Addie girl nestled close, the sky all of a sudden lit up, brighter than any winter sun we receive, and was joined by claps of thunder.

I've lived here all my life and a thunder storm in the middle of a snowstorm is a rare thing.

Sunday we relaxed, none of us feeling tip-top.

Sean stewed and stirred in the kitchen and all day there were fabulous smells wafting through the house.

He brought to the dinner table a big pot of French onion soup with home made toasted bread baguettes with mergenthaler cheese melted on top.

Sean has taken upon himself to learn how to play the piano and I get to sit back and enjoy evenings, after the kids are in bed, listening to him grumble at my old piano teacher of decades ago for scribbling out the finger numbering and smile to myself because, really, he's doing awesome and he's pretty cute sitting on that piano bench tentatively singing out the words to little children's songs as he plays. He's doing much better than me and my fiddle.



A small downside to having wood stoves is the dust that settles everywhere. I don't know if it's actually the wood stoves to blame or the little fans that blow their heat through the house, but either way, I took time to bustle around dusting the living room bookshelves, the books and baskets on them, meeting up with memory lane with all the different books and dreaming of garden planting and watching and waiting after this long, long winter.

I think the kids are beginning to be anxious for spring too as this morning I found Andrew settled down upon the bench in the kitchen this morning, pouring through his tackle box chit-chatting about fishing hopes for spring.

"If nature has made you for a giver, your hands are born open, and so is your heart; and though there may be times when your hands are empty, your heart is always full, and you can give things out of that--warm things, kind things, sweet things--help and comfort and laughter--and sometimes gay, kind laughter is the best help of all."
— Frances Hodgson Burnett (A Little Princess)

"Some people care too much. I think it's called love."
— A.A. Milne (Winnie-the-Pooh)

"I am never at my best in the early morning, especially a cold morning in the Yorkshire spring with a piercing March wind sweeping down from the fells, finding its way inside my clothing, nipping at my nose and ears."
James Herriot

"Is he well educated?"
Yes, I think so, as far as he's gone," I answered. "Of course he will go on being educated every day of his life, same as father. He says it is all rot about 'finishing' your education. You never do. You learn more important things each day..."
— Gene Stratton-Porter (Laddie: A True Blue Story

Hope you can grab a little time to cozy up with a good book. :)

Blue and white plates that held buttery soft biscuits and slices of quiche with eggs I hoarded from our hens, cream cheese swirled on the inside with thin slices of smoked salmon lain on top, have been cleared away.

So too the crumbs of fresh whole wheat brownies the kids made.

Annaliese is crafting a dolly, Eleanora and Chase pouring over a book that was mine as a girl, But No Elephants. It still makes me smile. Earlier I took a break from vacuuming to read it to Ella and now she is relaying the story to her little brother, cuddled on the sofa.

As I bask here by the wood stove, nursing Addie girl, Sean and the older boys are out doing manly things with our new-to-us tractor. Sean found a great deal on a Kabota and I am so excited for the planting it will help me do this spring. A plot of something for chicken feed, still deciding what, and a plot of corn for cornmeal, scooping and moving mulch for the garden.... Spring plans are wonderful. I've been told we're supposed to get five more inches of the white fluffy stuff tonight.

Enjoy your weekend in your sweet corners of the world. Be blessed with home and family. Hold tight to God.

Hannah

What do we do.... to stay married

..or to honor God with our marriage - that's probably a better way to phrase things. How this is my heart - to honor God with every part of my being and every aspect of my life. It is not an idol, I don't worship my family, and it has nothing to do with legalism or setting the Proverbs 31 woman on a pillar before my eyes. It is born out of this love for Jesus in my heart.

I did some quick thinking today, as the subject of feminism and divorce came up with one of my sisters, and realized that five generations of our family include divorce. Oh my and yuck.
When I was told about the most recent breaking apart of a family, it was presented in a positive light, highlighting all the wonderful (!) things of the couple's divorce. It made me heartsick, but this is our culture's mindset: better to focus on the positives and ignore the drooling, fire breathing beast before us. I take divorce seriously. Broken homes and dysfunction are my heritage but it is not my destiny and a legacy I do not want to pass on to our children. I believe we should know our enemy as best as we can so he does not sneak up unawares. This is why I take the covenant of marriage seriously and why Sean and I honor our marriage.

When Sean and I married we didn't just make a promise to each other. For us, saying words in the front of a church was much more than that... it was making a promise before God and to God. I am not condemning or trying to judge those who have taken this route, indeed many of those I love deeply have found themselves here. I just really, really don't want to go that route in life.

All that said, I was asked how Sean and I make precious time for each other with a house full of boisterous children.

Most nights, except those when I need to run errands or Sean has a meeting, we spend time together after the kiddos have been tucked in. I'll usually try to have a special snack or dessert for us to share and we'll settle down together with a movie, knitting (me) or carving (him).

We have a very sweet babysitter and so every once in a while we get out together, just the two of us and little Addie. These are few and precious evenings.
Sean and I also enjoy working together. I love being able to help him on projects around the house, he and I both like to cook and bake, and in the warmer (oh how I miss thee) weather we will often take a walk around our property when the kids are in bed or get up early and sit on the big swing together with our tea or coffee.

We value the importance of intimacy in our marriage, not just physically, though that is a blessing, but in being open and honest and vulnerable with one another. This has been a big learning curve for me personally, as I've always been the type to keep a stiff upper lip and not let things affect me. Actually, as far as I've come down this road, Sean is still always asking me to talk with him and be open with him, so I have not yet arrived (and Sean's fabulous for keeping on my case, I know).

I think the best tip I have for having a healthy marriage is to respect and honor your spouse for who he is and the good you see in him and leave any changing to God. I learned a long time ago to not focus my prayers on "God change my spouse because he's ___________" sort of prayers. I do pray for God to bless Sean and lead and guide him but when we are having times of conflict, I'll ask God to change my heart and work in me. More often than not, the discontented heart is the heart that needs to be worked on. We are human. We hurt each other and can be thoughtless and careless. But we've learned to talk out uncomfortable things and to ask and give forgiveness.

How do you make time as a couple in your marriage, or what have you seen modeled by couples with strong marriages?

Common Edible and Poisonous Mushrooms of New York

A native of upstate NY, avid outdoorswoman and hopeful homesteader, I was excited to see this book being offered by Syracuse University Press, because as of now, the only mushroom I've felt safe gathering and cooking for my family has been giant puffballs. I'm pretty sure I've been mowing over a splendid edible variety every summer and am looking forward to using this book to see if I'm correct. I really like the spore and bruise tests given for each mushroom so I can make sure I know what I am gathering and whether they are edible.

I know there are many more mushrooms than this book covers growing out in the beautiful wild about me but I think this is a fabulous place to begin learning. My only dislike of the book is a superficial one, the photographer in me cannot tolerate flash photography and the photos would have been so much more welcoming and appetizing with a natural light source.

If you are a New Yorker, I'd pick up a copy - what a great book!

Making something fabulous...

over at Raising Homemaker's today - come join the fun!

The Beginning Reader's Bible Review

What I loved:
The illustrations:
Our younger children commandeered this book as soon as it came in the mail, no doubt attracted to the beautiful illustrations. The illustrator does an amazing job, the pictures accompanying each story are beautiful and who doesn't love a Jesus actually depicted as a middle eastern man?
The resources:
The book contains twenty six stories from the Old and New Testaments and twelve resources for children, including prayers from the Bible, books of the Bible and the ten commandments. As a story book of abbreviated Bible stories, this is a winner.
The sinner's prayer:
At the end of the storybook a sinner's prayer is included. It seems to be a no-denominational, scriptural based prayer and I thought that was a nice ending to the book.

So here is what I wasn't fond of:
The translation.
The text is taken from the ICB and so you'll notice any trinity references in the Old Testament are missing and there are gender neutral references (people instead of men). For our family, this isn't a big issue since they are read to from an actual Bible daily, but it is worth mentioning.

The title.
This is not a beginning reader's Bible. It is also not the Bible, it is a storybook. The stories are paragraphs long and the words are big and so the title is deceiving in the "beginning reader's" part. Again, not an issue unless you are specifically purchasing a book intent with a new reader being able to read it for themselves.

Fine Print: I was sent this book by the publisher to review. It's freeness did not influence the content of the review.