Today we put in our first offer on a farm and I want to play the part of Thomas. I want to doubt. Doubting is safe, a form of protection. If I don't expect it could be possible and it ends up not to be, I've lost nothing. If I believe all things are possible... well, there are a lot of crazies to be believed in here... that in the middle of a housing market crisis we just might get a buyer to pay a good sum for a bit of pretty wilderness and a cabin, that we just might be able to buy a 61 acre farm debt free and with money left to improve upon it... well, yes, those are crazy thoughts to me. Believing that we could have a family business, that my husband wouldn't have to work in a hot office with stale air all day forever, catering to clients who care nothing about our livelihood - those are wonderful thoughts I have faith enough for.
Tuesday, August 2
Between the whir-whir-whir of the paddle of the Kitchen Aid this morning blending eggs and sugar and zucchini with coconut oil, I find them on the front porch, a cloud of tiny bubbles floating up from their pursed lips and bubble wands. They are more than happy to accept the empty bowls I offer and run out to the berry patch to fill them for breakfast.
My heart cries, "Lord, I believe, help my unbelief". He is sovereign.
I hear the noise of kids pushing their way through the back door and a scrambling of chairs and seating as I pull a pan of zucchini bread from the oven, a zucchini I rescued from a plant thriving outside one of the empty barns, the land missing it's owner since he passed last winter, his barns full of the scent of drying garlic and herbs, his apple trees brimming with reddening fruit.
I don't know what the future holds, but I know who holds my future. I've heard that faith and farming go hand in hand and it seems it is true before it even starts.
Have a beautiful day!
Posted by Me at Tuesday, August 02, 2011