Tuesday, August 2


Between the whir-whir-whir of the paddle of the Kitchen Aid this morning blending eggs and sugar and zucchini with coconut oil, I find them on the front porch, a cloud of tiny bubbles floating up from their pursed lips and bubble wands. They are more than happy to accept the empty bowls I offer and run out to the berry patch to fill them for breakfast.


Today we put in our first offer on a farm and I want to play the part of Thomas. I want to doubt. Doubting is safe, a form of protection. If I don't expect it could be possible and it ends up not to be, I've lost nothing. If I believe all things are possible... well, there are a lot of crazies to be believed in here... that in the middle of a housing market crisis we just might get a buyer to pay a good sum for a bit of pretty wilderness and a cabin, that we just might be able to buy a 61 acre farm debt free and with money left to improve upon it... well, yes, those are crazy thoughts to me. Believing that we could have a family business, that my husband wouldn't have to work in a hot office with stale air all day forever, catering to clients who care nothing about our livelihood - those are wonderful thoughts I have faith enough for.

My heart cries, "Lord, I believe, help my unbelief". He is sovereign.

I hear the noise of kids pushing their way through the back door and a scrambling of chairs and seating as I pull a pan of zucchini bread from the oven, a zucchini I rescued from a plant thriving outside one of the empty barns, the land missing it's owner since he passed last winter, his barns full of the scent of drying garlic and herbs, his apple trees brimming with reddening fruit.

I don't know what the future holds, but I know who holds my future. I've heard that faith and farming go hand in hand and it seems it is true before it even starts.

Have a beautiful day!



Kimberly said...

:) God moved us. It all happened so fast, and took forever. But we're now living on a little farm in a new state and life is reeeeeally different. We'll see what He has in store now!

mandi said...

We are standing at a bit of a precipice as well right now. I find myself saying these exact words over and over.

ps- At first mention of "thomas" in your post (obviously the Biblical reference) I immediately thought of the tank engine! Hahaha! You can tell what season of life I am in right now!

Unknown said...

Praying He makes the dream He gave you a reality!!

Roslyn said...

Beautiful post, Hannah. God is faithful and He knows the desires of our hearts. Our trust in His will is enough to rest our doubts. Every time we begin one of these journeys that stretch our souls, we have the opportunity to grow closer to Him. Blessings on this path you have chosen--we have done similarly in our family and the heavenly gifts we have received are astounding!

Emily said...

Dear Hannah,
Like your following statement and am believing the same for our family, too. "Believing that we could have a family business, that my husband wouldn't have to work in a hot office with stale air all day forever, catering to clients who care nothing about our livelihood"
Oh how wonderful if the Lord gives you the desires of your heart while you trust in His sovereignty. :)

MiddleEarthMusician said...

Hi Hannah, I have enjoyed your blog for a while but this post really hit home. We are in a very similar situation with an offer on a house/propety that in my mind looks so far fetched that I keep doubting it will happen so as to protect myself. Lord help my unbelief as well. Blessings!!

amy said...

Oh Hannah, I pray for you and this adventure in your life. and please forgive me for being a bit envious... this dream we share too, yet are so far from it... I am praying for you, Lord, work all out in this beautiful family's life. and to You Lord be the glory.

Kelli said...

Oh Hannah! What a blessing it would be if the Lord had this land for you. It's something our family has been praying for for the past year...just room to run and play, food to grow and the list goes on. I have found many families in this very situation, praying for this specific thing, but it usually comes down to two BIG things...Dad's job and selling/buying a house in an almost impossible market. We just keep praying, I guess. ;) Love reading your blog. YOU are a blessing to others.

Homeschool on the Croft said...

Oh, I do hope your dream comes to be. I'll be 'watching this space'.... and wishing the best for you. Of course, He always does what's best....even when it means disappointments for us. But I still hope your desires are in accordance with His will :)