Friday, February 11

Happy Valentines Day, my Love

"Papa's love makes Mama beautiful"

:her sweet voice holds the same clarity as the blue, blue eyes looking up at me with this rich revelation of hers, not the first one beyond her years, but still, its truth brings a catch in my throat. She can be so matter of fact and serious.

All the kids tucked into bed and a soft kiss on her four year old white blond head, I settle my heart on her statement. What once he spent summers doing, as a boy and a young man, engrained itself into his character. In simple language, Sean is a builder and fixer by nature, taking the broken and worn and making it beautiful. It has been no different with my heart.

If I am kinder than I once was, and how I hope I am, it has been the softening of character brought forth by his patient love. In one sense, I wish I could tell you how I was as a young woman, all the hurts and anger I built into my wall of "I AM WOMAN", subject to no one, self-empowered yet seeking to please everyone by never having a contrary opinion, avoiding conflict at all cost... and yet, that person is so far removed, like looking back and remembering someone else's story from long, long ago that I am ashamed of her and wish to hide her in the past.

Sean has loved me when I've been unlovable and bound up my wounds when I've been broken. Gently rubbed out leg cramps in the middle of the night, encouraged and exalted me through six labors and held me as I fell apart when we were told our son Aiden had perhaps a few months to live with his kidneys and when we lost our wee babe and in the torrents of life that have suffered to drown and left me gasping for air.

He's encouraged me to be a dreamer, wistful for farming and babies and narrowing the line between work and home until one day they are one. I've never been "stupid" or "a fool" or an "idiot" or a "jerk", though I'm sure many times I've been all of those. In my almost twenty years of knowing him, he's never called me a name or belittled me. It has simply never happened. All physical applications aside, beauty tends to blossom under an atmosphere of gentleness.

I haven't much vanity and tend to see beauty everywhere but in myself, but how I love that I hold appeal in Sean's eyes. I hope the beauty our daughter called out and saw comes from the rich kind deep within and if it does I *know* Sean's responsible, as she said. In short, he's been the hands and heart of Jesus to me.

This is the fifteenth year he's been my Valentine and I really am so, so, so incredibly blessed by the gift he is in my life.
Happy Valentines Day, my love.

"He makes everything beautiful in its time."


Unknown said...

Hannah - this post moved me. It made me tear up, how i can relate! How beautiful you put into words what the amazing power of the Love of Jesus in a marriage. THe music added a nice touch. i never knew you had a blog. i will be back!

Anonymous said...

This deserves an "awww...".

cooperkelly4 said...

clearly God knew that "the two shall be one" that Sean is the one for you. How tender that your little girl is witness to this sweet demonstration of love. Beautiful! said...

Beautifully written. Nancy

Fueled by Love said...

Made me cry, you have captured this so beautifully as usual.

PuzzlingChristian said...

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

In case you have forgotten,
Remember Valentine's Day,
Give cards, candy or flowers,
And celebrate it every day!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Patricia said...

So beautiful... you my friend are a blessed woman!

Unknown said...

Awww, you made me cry at 8:30 in the morning! What a sweet guy you have and what a blessing to read about you guys. Thanks for sharing!

Nate and Rhoda, Elijah, Judah, Hannah and Jeremiah said...

Lovely post, Hannah. You are blessed. I have never met you, but I can tell you are a beautiful woman by the way that you speak with such grace & humility & selfless love about your husband and family. That is true beauty - a gracious, Christ-honoring spirit.

tonia said...

so lovely. and it's very true that love makes a woman beautiful. thank you for this sweet glimpse tonight.