It is dusk at 4:25. Welcome lamps grace each window, beacons of warmth on this wet and so dreary outside late afternoon as I wait for three of our men to come home from their wanderings round the countryside. To the farm for filling up our milk containers and doubtless a chat with our Mennonite farmer friend and the granary for poultry feed before returning home to us.

I thawed a big roast earlier and put it in the oven, in a covered pot to braise, with a large can of chopped tomatoes, several sliced garlic cloves and a pound of chopped carrots. The smell of its goodness has been filling the house this afternoon.

Here I sit, nestled in pillows on the sofa, nursing Addie, waiting for my handsome men, giving out charades to Ella, Aiden, and Annaliese for my own amusement (Ella does a great animal of any sort), remembering my cup of undrunk raspberry zinger tea is still on the table from a visit with a neighbor an hour ago, these are the times I wish for a microwave but don't wish for one.

Construction paper candy canes are being cut at my feet, yellow and black, by the dozen while another child pours over a book and one bounces around with unending energy. Oh what I could accomplish with that energy! But now I am content with this warm wool rug underfoot, lugged from the attic every winter, with soft slippers on my feet and a newly sewn apron, with the new curtain rods hung at the windows and the freshly hemmed curtains waiting to be hung, with a hot dinner almost done, for happy children and a this small cuddler on my shoulder with her fat diapered end and soft head.

I am more well each day, drinking my iron, eating my beef, attempting to sleep more hours or minutes each night. Life here at home is beautiful and busy and home and family push blogging aside. Thank you for your well wishes, questions of concern and understanding at my not so often posting.

Blessings,

Hannah

Brothers

Why should I feel discouraged, why should the shadows come,
Why should my heart be lonely, and long for heav’n and home,
When Jesus is my portion? My constant Friend is He:
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

I sing because I’m happy, I sing because I’m free,
For His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

“Let not your heart be troubled,” His tender word I hear,
And resting on His goodness, I lose my doubts and fears;
Though by the path He leadeth, but one step I may see;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.
Whenever I am tempted, whenever clouds arise,
When songs give place to sighing, when hope within me dies,
I draw the closer to Him, from care He sets me free;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

When life interupts

Tuesday morning I woke up an hour later than I had planned. An hour. And life immediately dove into high gear.

Sean had risen a little after 4:30, as I was cozied up nursing Addie, to go hunting and the next thing I knew I was looking at my cell phone in amazement at the time. There would be no time for a quiet cup of tea, Bible and journal laid open beside me that morning, I knew. Already the boys were elephant-feeting it down their staircase and up ours, Chase had poo-poo-ed in his diaper, Addie was hungry again, Ella walked in with her hair sticking straight up and wearing a conglomerate of an outfit. Sean was still out hunting. I was tired. My head hurt.

And so I started singing in my still froggy early morning voice, but I worshipped and I heard Aiden walking by on his way to feed the dog singing along. And I sang to Addie about God as she nursed, and Chase and I sang his new favorite, "He's got the Whole World" while we cleaned him up and put on "Thomas twain" undies and I sang while brushing out Ella's hair, I don't remember what but we smiled together and laughed before heading downstairs for a cold cereal and banana breakfast.

Sometimes life happens and messes up our plans. A lot of times life happens and messes up our plans. It's okay.

Later that evening, while sweeping the evidence of a busy family life off the floors, reading my chicken butchering hate mail (!) in my inbox, and tidying up the house, I turned on one of my favorite resources for encouragement, slaps side the head, and mental stimulation as a woman. Nancy Leigh DeMoss's messages are wonderful. If you don't mind that Paul of the Bible was most likely single and possibly Titus too, than you won't have an issue that God can use a single woman to minister wisdom regarding Biblical womanhood. Either way, anyone who teaches straight from the word of God should not be judged on their marital status. (just my happy two cents :)

So while I sorted through a bin of toys and swept up the ones hiding under the sofa, I listened to this message on Grace for Tired, Discouraged Hearts, because even when we as women seek God and His will for our lives there will almost always been outside sources of conflict waring against us. Sean and I do have something special in our marriage and home that God has created. It is easy to write about the happier points of our lives but I am human. Hurtful words hurt me. I'm not immune to attacks on my family. This past month has been one of the hardest as I've physically tried to recover from Addie's birth (very anemic, bleh...) and mentally tried to stay strong and focus on the most important things, which are my relationship with the Lord and my family.

Life happens. Luckily God is bigger than life.

Now before you run away, hop over to my friend (who is a fabulous woman, wife and mama) Al's blog and leave her a prayer or note of encouragement, will you?

Self-Feeding

Nestled home this beautiful Sunday, sun streaming through the windows, with a few of our kids with little colds. I am a homebody.
I have loved each of the three houses God has given us over the years and the home He has helped us build in each of them, from the little 900 sq foot house in the wrong side of the city, to the large bungalow on one of the busiest roads, to our old, endearing house that we now occupy on our little bit of country.

This morning the smell of bread is wafting through the house, sitting on the woodstove is a can with beeswax I am melting down from our hive, adding to the divine smell, and a slow cooker on the counter is steaming with sausage and bean soup. Lunch for the loves and future hand salve and wood polish. On my shoulder is a sleeping babe with fat cheeks.

I love Sundays.

How many, many Sunday church services I have missed over the years because of ministering to my family. I have learned that maintaining a prayerful life during the week and spending time reading and listening to God's word on my own is key to a healthy life and leaves no room for discouragement.

"All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work" 2 Timothy 3:16-17 .

Sunday sermons are a small part of my weekly spiritual diet, and so, if necessity deems I miss it, I'm not feeling dry, empty, or starving waiting for the next week to roll by.

"And did all eat the same spiritual meat; 4 And did all drink the same spiritual drink: for they drank of that spiritual Rock that followed them : and that Rock was Christ."

We are busy women, aren't we? We wear many hats, and often find it easy to say "there is no extra time in my day for devotions". I mentioned to Sean today how I've had to remind myself that God does not give us more to do in a day than He gives us hours in which to complete what He calls us to do.

If we view spiritual nourishment with the same savor and necessity as the food that fills our plates, we will find time. We will be hungry in spirit, anxious for the next moments we get to spend with God.

"but his delight is in the law of the Lord and on the law does he meditate both day and night."

Spending even just a few moments in the quiet of the morning with God can put our whole day into perspective and set the mood for our home life. I am a big encourager of morning devotional time. As moms, it is easy to plan our devotional time later in the day and easier still to have our day fill itself up, till we find at the end of the day that we're determined to do better the next day and then the next until we determine our days are too busy and set the priority of personal time with God aside and what should be a pleasurable, life giving time is made into a guilt trip.

For a while I set aside time each night to read my Bible but found that once the day was done and the stillness of the house settled in, my mind did not have the clarity or focus that I wanted to give God. So mornings are what work the best for me and I really do love being able to greet my children with a heart at peace and filled with His grace for the day.

Perhaps the concept of self-feeding is new to you and you're used to Sunday sermons being your nourishment for the week or this is nothing new to you and you have wisdom to share. Let's purpose to set aside time this week, on a regular and consistent basis, to spend with God. I'll share what God is speaking to my heart and resources I've found that encourage my heart in the Lord and you can share yours with me.

Blessings,

Hannah

As a side note, the photos above are all lovely vignettes of my step mom's kitchen. She and my dad live in a tiny cabin but she lovingly arranges things in her home so beautifully and warmly.

The HugaMonkey Sling Review

Having always used a ring sling, I was interested to see just how well a non-adjustable sling would work. The folks at HugaMonkey were fantastic in helping me figure out what size sling to order (it's simple, I promise) and it patiently waited on my dresser as I impatiently waited for Addie to arrive.

This sling is fantastic for errand running and is my go-to choice for when I need a quick sling to toss on and set Addie in. It folds up very small and takes up hardly any room in my bag and holds her so snug and safe. After Chase and I took these pics, I bent over with Addie in the sling to help him get his boots on so we could go play in the garden, and Addie stayed nice and snug and still.

The HugaMonkey is easy to nurse with too, which I appreciate since I'm not fond of the breastfeeding covers that remind me of an apron. And a slight funny side note on the brand name, HugaMonkey, when Addie and I were in Walmart yesterday, two different people came up to me and commented on what a cute monkey I was carrying around. The name fits.

The slight *eh...* to this style sling is after a long period of time, I found I needed to switch shoulders as one would be achy. Not a huge downfall, but worth the mention.

HugaMonkey offer free shipping and free returns and has a fantastic price, three great perks to giving it a try or buying it for a new mama. If you have any questions, you can contact Carrie at HugaMonkey (and check out their websites videos, they are great) at sales@hugamonkey.com.

(hugaMonkey sent me a free sling to review, but the content of my review is my own opinion and has not been biased by their gift.)

A few days after Addie was born...

...well, you can imagine the laundry, I suppose. Backed up, spilling out from the laundry closet in our upstairs hallway. Not pretty and pretty overwhelming.

Sean is great but wasn't used to the all-day laundry routine I normally have going here. Seems like in between every daily activity was a run upstairs to rotate laundry, fold or put away.
And then... a few days after Addie was born... the dryer died. And it was pouring rain outside. And my clothes rack is so small it only holds baby clothes or socks....

Someone lovely offered us an extra dryer...

But this is the third (yes, third) dryer we've caused to bite the dust in four years. Sean was thinking a warranty might be a good idea. So one dreary Sunday, while I hung laundry from the upstairs railing, banister, shower curtain rod and any other free space in between kids, Sean ran out and brought home these:

from a major retailers scratch and dent place, with warranties and (so smart that he is) they're ranked high by Consumer Reports. Not just a dryer, but a high efficiency washer too! I looked at the trailer he brought them home on, puzzled at two things on the back of it.

My sweet husband first apologized for buying me appliances (I was over the moon, happy!) then told me he didn't want me spending the best part of my days doing laundry (heart melt).

They light up like space-ships and I've just mastered the basics but already I am down to doing two loads of laundry a day with sometimes a small third load (cloth diapering) in the middle of the day. Before I was typically doing 4-5 loads a day without diapers.

Just thought I'd share my laundry blessings!

Some shared practical wisdom

A friend shared this list with me and I thought it was too good not to share here:

After the Birth, What a Family Needs

Some of my fondest memories after Addie's birth will be the friends who came and sat with me (bedrest for 3 days gets boring quick!) the yum, healthy food they brought and the friends who took the younger kids for a fun day of play while I rested.

Pumpkin Cinnamon Rolls

You'll want to make these...
For the Dough:

1/2 cup warm H2O
4 1/2 tsp yeast
2/3 cup milk
2 eggs
1 1/2 cup pumpkin puree (not pie filling)
3 tbsp oil
approx 7 cups of flour
1 cup brown sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon
Set your yeast, warm water and sugar in a bowl until the yeast dissolves, then stir in the remaining ingredients except for the flour. Stir in 5 or so cups of flour and add in more as needed until you have a nice tacky but not sticky dough. Place in a greased bowl in a warm spot until doubled, which takes about an hour.
For the Innards:
1 stick butter, melted
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
4 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp cloves
1/2 tsp nutmeg
Mix the dry ingredients together in a bowl. Melt your butter.
Roll out your dough in two pieces on a floured board into a nice rectangle. Pour half the butter over the dough and sprinkle with half the filling. Roll up from the long end, pinching seam to hold closed. Cut into 2-3 inch sections with a sharp knife and place in a greased baking pan, leaving a teeny bit of room between each roll. Repeat with remaining dough, butter and sugar mixture. Set the rolls in a warm place for a half hr.

Bake at 400 for 20-25 minutes.

Frosting:
1, 8 oz. package cream cheese
6 tbsp butter
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cps powdered sugar

Beat butter and cream cheese together and add remaining ingredients. Spread icing over rolls right after they come out of the oven. Serve and enjoy!

Moby Wrap Review

A few months ago, Moby Wrap sent me one a turquoise Moby Wrap with UV protection to check out and review. I was so excited to give it a try once Addie arrived because I have always heard great things about their wraps and wanted to see for myself if the goodness was true.

First off, the selection of wraps that Moby carries is awesome. I love some of the Batik designs like the blue one above. They even carry organic wraps, and UV wraps like the one they sent me. There is bound to be a color or pattern to coordinate with your favorite outfits. I wear a lot of browns, so turquoise was my choice of color.

So let me tell you what I love about the Moby Wrap: I can wear it for hours and am not left with a crick in my neck or a sore shoulder. I can do all the mama things I need to do, with Addie safe and snug and I don't have to worry about her falling out of the wrap if I need to bend over and tie shoes.

I can adjust her position and nurse her in public with no one the wiser. Love this.

Even Chase fits comfortably in the wrap (and thinks it is incredibly awesome to get carried around). And the same thing with carrying him, there was no neck, back or shoulder woes.

Moby has pictorial and video tutorials on how to wear the wrap and different positions to carry your child.

The only (slight, very slight) downfall to the Moby Wrap is that because of the length of the fabric, it is better put on indoors as the ends hit the floor. This hasn't been a problem because if I am going out for any length of time, I just put the empty wrap on and slip Addie into it (so easy) once we arrive at our destination.

A Moby Wrap, in my humble opinion, would make a great gift for a new mama, or especially a mama with a few other children. Cultivating Home readers will get free shipping on Moby Wrap orders (through www.mobywrap.com) until 11.30.10 with the code CHomeMoby.

(Moby Wrap sent me their product to review but the content of the review is my own lovely opinion and has not been influenced by their gift of a wrap.)

Again at the cabin....

As I sat nursing Adalia in the rocker by the wood stove, I realized it was just two weeks prior that I had been tidying here and hiking out in the fallish woods to encourage Addie to come. And how, just few hours after settling in back home, she came, warm and rosy.

Just this week am I starting to feel back to normal, back to a vaguely familiar routine, a visit to the library, enjoying meals from the freezer, the pile of dishes by the front door reminding me that... I need to write thank you notes to the so many friends who have blessed us in one way or another during Adalia's first two weeks, from those who cooked us amazing meals to the girlfriends who came and sat on my bed with me or gathered up my boys or girls for a few hours while I slept, fought an infection and seemingly nursed through every hour of that first week.

Addie is a divine sleeper. I doubt very much I would be feeling so sane if she were not. One snack in the middle of the night is all she requires before the milk comatose takes over and she's out again.

Last night Sean and I snuck out with just Addie for a date - dinner, coffee and a parent pow-wow setting down in writing some of our family's ways for us to go over with our kids. Now the ways our family operates and the rules that make sure we are being loving, are set down in thoughtful and kind language and this mama that's been lax and gritting my teeth over the resulting, not surprising behaviour, can be more diligent in parenting the way I need to.

Thank you all for your kind offers and directions for obtaining kefir in my recent post asking for information. I have a large mason jar set out tonight with my first batch and am (crossing my fingers) hopeful for some kefir smoothies in the morning.

Hannah

You know those cute Anne Geddes sort of photos...

...with the angelic looking, comatose newborns plopped and draped and squished so contentedly? I had visions of taking those kinds of photos of Addie. I tried a few times without much luck and here's why: this girl is ALERT. Wide-eyed, don't-you-dare-put-me-down or put me in a basket cause I'm on to you sort of alert. Yup, that's our girl.

(Six days old with Grandma Pam.)

Meeting Great Grandma Nan

Addie loved meeting her Great Grandma Nan, who you can read more about here. Grandma would have to correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe Addie is the 33rd great grandchild.