Our morning in photos

Another Goodbye

Another judge ordered this sweet sugar back to her mama on Tuesday, which ended up being a bucket of tears sort of day. The logic or wisdom behind this transfer of care is indescribable and probably non-existent. Everyone in court testified on Paris' behalf but the judge ruled against them all. Our hearts are trusting the God we know loves her more than we do and can watch out for her too.

Blessings,

Hannah

Promo for "3 by 3 by 3" Documentary from David Watson on Vimeo.

He is my chef

Hardly a night goes by that this fellow doesn't stop by while I'm making dinner and ask if he can be my chef, or if there's something that needs cutting, or stirring. This is his solution to onions.

Wustoff. Only the best for this fellow.

They've been at it at week

We let our boys take apart broken appliances. They LOVE this. I count it as part of their grand and beautiful education. When a boom box I've had since (muffled year) finally gave up the ghost, the boys saw it in the trash and claimed it as their own.

They've learned that boom boxes are made to be put together, not taken apart - but this has only heightened the intrigue and mystery. They've learned what makes the cassette doors open and holds them closed, how magnets come in to play and a million other little things I'm sure. Just about now, it's demolition is ready to be swept away for good but they have salvaged parts to build their robot using a knex motor. I can't wait to see it.

Quick tip

I love lattes. Hot or iced. Preferably homemade ones so I'm not $5 poorer after indulging. Home made lattes were few and far between because my busy husband is the barrista extraordinaire who grinds the beans to the precise fineness and steeps the espresso and froths the milk. But no more! Not since I had a moment of brilliance, asked Sean to work his magic and promptly froze the espresso (you do do this with coffee too) in quarter cup measurements in muffin tins. After they were frozen solid, I popped them out and put them in a baggy in the freezer. They hold their flavor and taste great.

Want my recipe?
One tall glass
1/4 espresso
1/8 cup sweetener (homemade caramel or vanilla syrup, honey, or sugar)
milk

For a warm latte, warm your ingredients, for a cold one, add ice!

Mix together and enjoy!

Made all the difference

A favorite poem of mine talks about taking the road less traveled. I remember this, I think of this, as I try to lay down my burdens every morning, and pick up His. As we embrace a large family, educate our kiddos here, at home, spend to live and not live to spend, forge into the crumbly world of foster care, and live as self-sufficient as possible. These are the blessings of my life. It is a path not well-trodden, but what a contented, peaceful one. And even when there is not peace - there is PEACE. Him. My Jesus.

Tonight, taking this road means a gripping sadness on our hearts as we come to terms with Izzy, our foster daughter, possibly being returned to the same neglectful home she was just removed from. Izzy, who rocks herself when she's upset, wails when I'm out of sight, and who came with newborn bowel movements from a formula only diet at 11 mos old, who didn't know and sometimes still doesn't know what to do with food. DNA matters more than drug use, prison records, or neglect. Some things just don't make sense. Trust, yes, I know. Obviously trust is an issue in my heart tonight.

You cannot put your trust in the wisdom of earthly judges or neglectful mothers but only in the capable hand of the living God. Izzy isn't ours. She's on loan from the state and God. Please pray for wisdom for Judge Joan Skane as she presides over this decision on Monday.

"I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. "

Freezer Paper Stenciling

Have you tried this yet? Annaliese and some of her friends gave it a go last Friday and did an awesome job! I use freezer paper stencils to cover stains on existing t-shirts (usually my little men's).

Are you called?

Beth, over at Haut House, hit on something near and dear to our hearts yesterday when she posted about people having to feel the need to feel "called" before they take action on a Biblical command. Stop on over and read her post,
Hannah

Trust

Friday morning came as usual, cold, snowy and windy. Chores were done and ice skating paraphenalia prepared. Every Friday during this season home schooling families meet up at a local rink for two hours. Kiddos skate and mamas chat. Even little Ella slides around the rink on her snow boots.

On this Friday we were expecting some of Annaliese's friends for a Valentines party after ice skating and she was busy putting finishing touches on her cupcakes, heart sandwiches and pink lemonade. I wiped down the counters and hung my new (new to me) little chalkboard above my kitchen sink. Now for what to write on it.... Hmmm....

"Lord, what do I need to work on?" I had prayed earlier that morning, while no doubt reviewing the current events of life with Him and asking for His grace and wisdom.

The word that came to my heart, I wrote "Trust".

We had been called and asked to take another foster baby earlier in the week which I turned down because the baby had overwhelming medical needs which I knew I could not tend to with five children. The poor wee one had oxygen, a feeding tube and colostomy, was blind and had other health problems. One or two of those I could handle but not all and regretfully, I told them they really needed to find someone able to do 24 hr medical care, said goodbye, hanging up the phone. That same day we missed a call to care for a healthy six month old.

Trust.

Just that week before we had visited our former foster daughter in her home. God has given us a great door into her life through her mother, which we are incredibly thankful for. Seeing her in her enviroment and the changes in her personality since she left us was heart-wrenching. "Why?" I want to ask.

Trust.

Annaliese had a great little party with her girlfriends last Friday. We tidied up and I pulled some sauce from the freezer for dinner and set the pasta water on the stove. Social services called and asked us to take an 11 month old, the youngest of nine all abandoned by their mother. We said yes and late that night she came.

Trust.

My husband remembers a message by Rob Morris of LOVE146 talking about getting involved in the mess of humanity, because that is where Jesus is. I cried for the brokenness of a mama who could not care for any of her children as the soft, curly head of her daughter rested on my chest.
I want to pray selfish prayers like, "Lord, please help her not to want this one too" but my spirit won't let me and I sadly pray instead, "God, Your will. What is best and true be done." I don't like to pray that way. I want to keep this baby forever.

Trust. It's on my chalkboard, now I need it in my heart.

Trust.

For My Valentine

Dear Sean,

I think I first began to love you those Sundays when I saw you loving God in church. The genuiness of your heart was so rare. You were working hard, attending college, but still finding time to spend with your mentors, learning about God.

I remember that I was an awkward teenager and you told me I looked beautiful.

I'll never forget the winter days you came over and we started going for walks and talking. And you were always freezing, you skinny thing, but your hands were warm and you'd share your warm gloves with me. And even though you were freezing, you'd walk with me and we talked about every important thing under the moon. Family and life and personal future aspirations.

We were so young, but life prompted us to grow up early, and God placed us together. How I ever can repay Him for the blessing of you, I do not know.

You are strong when I am weak, level headed when I am emotional, precise while I am artistic. We compliment each other so well.

I'll never forget the simple candlelit service when you took me as your bride, our first house on Oswego St. where God sent us Annaliese and Andrew and our lives felt full and blessed. Truly, He had set the lonely into a family.

We moved and God moved, sending you work in your first year of being self employed, giving us Aiden, preserving his life and preserving our marriage through those stressful years of infections and surgeries and feeling like the world was crumbling when really it was our expectations for a perfect life crumbling and we saw that God is just as near in the bad times, leaving blessings in even the hard places.

My love for you grew with each passing sunrise and sunset, family dinners around the table, babies turning toddlers, richer or poorer, prayers and blessings.

Do you remember we sold all our baby things? The statistics of kidney problems in another child was high, they said, and it was a painful road, we didn't wish to travel again. I loved you more when I saw your tears as we viewed Ella's perfectly formed kidneys on the ultrasound.

Our kids have grown so fast, how the years have flown. God sent us our hoped for home in the country and another son. Chase came at daybreak, light spilling through the bedroom window and kids piling around us on the bed.

Sometimes I think that if I died now I would have had more happiness than most people have in a lifetime. It is so much more than I deserve.

I love you more when I see you console a child that is not yours, loving Natalie and now Paris, leading our family into caring for the broken. I love you so much more for this. For being the strong brave man God wants you to be but so soft hearted that a bit of it breaks when you see unjust hurting.

I love you more for being an example to other men of being a loving husband, involved father and businessman respected for his integrity.

How my love for you has grown over the years. As you lay sleeping beside me now, hand on my arm, the words of your prayer are still in my mind and heart. I love you. I respect you. You are incredible.

Many thanks to my heavenly Father for giving me this great love of my life.

Hannah

And the winners are...

#16 The Bannister Family - A Sane Woman's Guide to Raising a Large Family
#42 JStacie - Family Feasts for $75 a Week

Please send your contact info to my email address at the top of the web page and I will forward it to Mary. Enjoy your new books! A big thank you to everyone who participated!
Hannah

Notice the Change?

Cultivating Home is officially its own webpage, many thanks to my techi husband. :)

Homemade Ketchup Recipe

Last night I made pioneer woman's buttermilk fried chicken. And french fries. And some applesauce, beets and pickles. I know, not so healthy but a oh-so-very-good-every-once-in a while kind of meal. And when I check the fridge (and pantry) we were down to a few tbsp's of ketchup and dinner was almost ready.
Here's a fly by the seat of your pants recipe that worked and tasted delicious. It has more spices than your store ketchup and you can leave out those if you like. This is a recipe done mostly by tasting and adding to your liking, so don't worry that there aren't a lot of specific measurements. You can do this! So easy.

1.) In a saucepan, add one can of tomatoe puree (the kind without basil please). I had chopped tomatoes, so I just pureed them. Begin cooking over medium heat, stirring often as you're adding ingredients. You want the moisture to cook out of this.
2.)Sprinkle liberally with onion pwder. Taste.
3.) Sprinkle with garlic pwdr. Taste.
Add salt, it needs salt.
4.) Sprinkle with hot pepper flakes, maybe about a 1/4 teaspoon.
5.) Add in about a cup of vinegar. Apple cider or red wine are yummy. White will work.
Continue to cook and stir and taste, adding vinegar to taste.
6.) Add in 1/4 cup brown sugar.
7.) Add a pinch of cloves and cinnamon. These you won't find in grocery store ketchup but taste amazing. Leave out, if you wish.
Add more salt and pepper to taste and cook, stirring, over medium, heat until thickened.
Tada! Homemade ketchup!

My Girl

This girl, I love.
My first born, welcoming into motherhood, sleepless nights, engorged breasts, and cause of unexplainable contentment in my new role, new job as Mama nine years ago.

Annaliese is funny, creative, helpful and wants to be a missionary midwife when she's grown. I won't tell you in what country, because that terrifies me, and if that's where God is calling her, He'll get me over that fear, right? All this is her, her dreams and goals, and I love seeing how they develop, how she devours books about missionaries, impoverished countries, and curls up every morning by the fire with her open Bible, unprompted.

I always feel on alert raising our children, especially raising our daughters. This afternoon while the kids were getting their lunches together and we were all in the kitchen together, noisy and busy, I began to think of the important things we need to be intentional about in raising daughters.

Here are some of the things that God has brought to our attention in raising daughters:

1.) The need for valuing femininity.

This is such a touchy subject area because we live in a culture where lines between masculinity and femininity have been smudged and blurred and any trying to re-draw clear ones is met with terms like "legalism" or "anti-feminism". When's the last time you heard of a man arguing for his right to do everything a woman can do? One thing is clear, and that is that God didn't make one androgynous human sex, he made male and female, each with differing and complimentary strengths and weaknesses. We also read in the Bible that God does not prefer one gender over another or one social status over another. He prefers unity. This is a verse sometimes taken out of context to promote gender neutrality.

For a few examples, our daughters don't have fist fights with their brothers, they don't dress androgynously, they are learning lady-like manners and habits...

2.) We acknowledge and value modesty.

Our daughters are the only ones at the pool in the summer not in a two piece bathing suit. I've had eyes rolled at me when I've been asked the "why" in regards to modesty (more so by christians, unchurched moms seem much more open to discussing and understanding - why is that?) but the truth is, I'm not that into the sexualization of my toddler and school age daughters any more than I will be when they are young ladies. I wore bikinis. I loved the attention it brought. I deeply regret those years and that attitude of my heart. Now I've learned that me being cute and sexy is for my husband's enjoyment and his alone. Do I want to look nice and presentable at the beach - of course. Same as at home.

This is what we teach our daughter (and sons). We teach them that their bodies are wonderful gifts and they are made to honor God with everything they have, body, soul and mind. Caught by a sister while he was changing, one of our sons yelled at her, saying, "hey, you're not my wife, don't look at me!" It was difficult to keep a straight face at that one. :) How about the son that skipped down a hill on a walk one day, saying, "when I get a wife, I will see her NAKED!" (we're working on appropriateness :)

3.) We value good friendships for our daughters.

This goes for the boys too, but girls are more likely to be swayed by friendships and emotion and peer pressure. Annaliese does not have a big slew of friends, though she is friendly towards everyone and has a very outgoing personality. She has a few, close girlfriends. I know their parents, their intentionality in parenting their daughters, and I can trust that my daughter is "safe" in these friendships. It might not be a popular view and I might be deemed overprotective, but there is so many examples and evidence to support the outcome which comes of not choosing your children's friends wisely.

How do you be intentional about choosing your children's friends? Invite them over. Often. That's about all it takes. Watch their families, what they value, who they allow their kids to hang out with. Don't send your daughter to someone's home that you've never been in or have not spent considerable time with the parents or child. Just use practical wisdom here and you'll be alright.

We also talk with our kids about what to look for in a friend and what attributes people will look for in them, when seeking their friendship. The best way to have these talks with your kids is to ask a few open ended questions and then guide the answers they offer with scripture.

4.)We value modeling Biblical womanhood.

Annaliese knows that if God brings her a husband that she will go where he goes. She views children as a blessing of marriage, not a burden. She verbalizes, in conversation, that if God blesses her with a family, her thoughts need to be on caring for them before a career or hobby.

Oh, this makes some people so angry! Immediately they picture the barefoot and pregnant, tired, depressed women in bondage and slavery to her environment. I wish those people could visit here, or friends homes and see the joy involved in mothering.

5.) We value modeling a godly marriage...

and talking about what makes a marriage work and how to handle conflict. We try to model a relationship where each partner has their own relationship with God and where this is the basis for unity and love in the home.

Everything I have to offer, is Sean's. Everything he has to offer, he offers to me. There is no 50/50 but both of us working 100 percent toward the goal of building a strong marriage and family.

Around the table we've discussed with our kids what to look for in a spouse. We're still learning about courtship, but hope this is more the route we can teach our children to follow in trusting God to bring them a mate.

6.) We value praying for our daughters.

Parenting teens of either gender slightly overwhelms me so I remind myself of the parents who have raised godly young men and women and have loved the teen years. And I pray often that God will continue to give me wisdom in raising each of our children.

For those of you raising, or with already grown daughters, what wisdom can you share?

Is your past a catalyst or a cage?

With our kids, we've read through and listened to the story of Joseph in the Bible many, many times. It is one of our favorites.

If you aren't familiar with the story, Joseph is the son of Jacob's favorite wife, Rachel. He has another son, Benjamin, by the same wife and several other sons by another wife. Joseph is his favorite son. and all his brothers know it. Early in his life, Joseph has dreams about his older half brothers serving him, he tells them, and to make a long story short, they debate whether to kill him but decide to sell him as a slave and tell their father that he is dead.

Joseph ends up a slave in Egypt, is later lied about and lives in prison for many years. Basically, he spends fifteen years of his life in a miserable existence because of what other people have done to him. But Joseph's heart isn't miserable. He trusts God, honors Him.

In the end Joseph, an Israelite, becomes second in power only to Pharaoh. Really! From slave to hero! It is a brilliant story, so listen to it (Genesis 37-50). He even interprets dreams and saves Egypt from a famine.

Now lets skip back to those brothers who sold him off. We don't know much about their lives back home with their father Jacob and half brother Benjamin but here they come to Egypt, looking for food for their families because the famine has hit them hard too.

When they appear before the man in command of distributing the grain and food, he accuses them of being spies. Their response? They go back all those years ago to the moment they sold their brother as a slave and blame their life troubles on that one event. God must be punishing them for what they did.

To shorten the story still, Joseph is the man distributing the grain, he forgives his brothers, is reconciled to them and his father and they live together happily in Egypt. He even tells them that all they meant for evil, God used for good! This is pivotal. This is the heart attitude that preserved Joseph while he was being accused of adultery, chained in prison, forgotten, living alone without family in Egypt.

End of story? No. Of course not. In time, the boys' father Jacob dies. Once again Joseph's brothers turn back to that moment in time when they sold Joseph, worrying that he will now take his revenge on them. It doesn't matter that Joseph has taken care of them and their families, loved them, provided homes and land for them, forgiven them. They are stuck in time. Stuck in their past on a mistake they made.

I had never noticed this contrast in the story of Joseph until a few days ago. I've been noticing how most of us still live one of these two ways. We have options. We can live our lives out still shaking a finger at our childhood, blaming an alcoholic parent, unloving mother, unaffectionate father, ungodly spouse. We can take a load of blame on ourselves and live out in fear that somewhere around the corner is a consequence waiting to greet us for a mistake we made, an abortion we had, a marriage we left. Joseph's brothers took those roads. They were victims, the sons of a wife Jacob did not love, and while Joseph was the favored son - they played second fiddle.

Joseph could have played the cards dealt him in the same manner, becoming hateful toward the man that wrongly put him in jail, bitter toward the God who had seemingly forgotten him, revengeful towards the brothers who came asking for food. Maybe he wouldn't have even gone to those extremes. If he had marriage problems, he could have pointed back to his childhood, blaming his mother's death, living in a single parent home...

Someone once said to me, "oh, it's alright, we all carry baggage from our pasts." Really? If that is the logic you follow, which crowd do you think that puts you with? I've been thinking on this story all day, while folding laundry, doing lessons with kiddos and separating chicken into freezer bags. Won't you think a while on it with me?

Mary Ostyn Interview

Last year I came across the book, A Sane Woman's Guide to Raising a Large Family by Mary Ostyn of Owlhaven and found myself devouring it, nodding in agreement to what I read and making mental notes of things I didn't want to forget. Then I noticed Mary had written another book, this time on frugally priced family meals titled Family Feasts for $75 a Week, a book filled with grocery wisdom and delicious recipes. Both books are excellent! Today you'll get the chance to win one of Mary's books so keep reading for the details after the interview.
Here is Cultivating Home's interview with Mary Ostyn of Owlhaven. Hope you enjoy it!

For our readers who are not familiar with you, Mary, could you tell us a bit about yourself?

I married my high school sweetheart 23 years ago. People thought we were nuts to marry at 19, but it was the best decision for us! We have ten kids, 6 of whom are adopted. Our oldest is a 22 year old newlywed. Our youngest daughter is five. I worked as a registered nurse at a birthing center for ten years, but became an at-home mom when our 5th child came home. I’ve been writing since 1996, blogging at since 2006. I’ve written two books, which both came out in 2009.

You wrote the book, A Sane Woman's Guide to Raising a Large Family. Did you always desire or plan on having a large family?

Absolutely not. I am the oldest of 8 kids and when I was a teenager, I swore I’d never have more than 4 kids. My husband thought 3 would be about right. God must have been smiling. He worked on our hearts in a gradual way, and blessed us beyond our dreams. We would’ve missed so much joy if we’d said no to God’s leading and stopped at four children. I’m not saying our life is easy— frankly, there are moments when the task feels bigger than our ability. But that’s what keeps us leaning on God. And our kids are so worth the work!

In your book, A Sane Woman's Guide to Raising a Large Family, you mention that several of your children are adopted. What first opened your hearts to adoption?

When our 4th child was three, I felt a longing for another child. At the same time, my eyes were opened to the kids in the world waiting for families. There are so many kids who literally will never have a family, and I can’t think of a sadder thing for a child! My husband had reservations about adoption at first. For awhile I thought adoption would not happen for us. But God did a work in my husband’s heart, and now here we are with 6 adopted children. God’s grace boggles my mind!

What encouragement or advice would you give to a couple, perhaps ones with older children who are looking forward to an empty house in a few years, to encourage them to look into adoption?

Pray about it, come to agreement about it, and then trust God’s leading. I know that some people fear their heart-feeling toward their adopted kids won’t be the same as towards kids born to them. And when you adopt older kids, it can take awhile to feel like family—there’s just so much to learn about each other. But especially with little kids, it doesn’t take long at all before your heart knows they’re yours, plain and simple. For me, it happened within days of holding them in my arms. And each child is such a gift.

I thought your book, Family Feasts for $75 a Week was fabulous and well balanced, but tell me, with your family size, how much do you typically spend a week on groceries?

We spend around $200 a week to feed 10 people on a daily basis, along with weekend guests. Each weekend our oldest daughter and husband, and our second daughter and her boyfriend hang out and eat with us for a meal or two or three. So it’s not uncommon to have 12-14 people at dinner on weekends.

If I am frustrated with the amount of money I am spending on groceries, what is one change I could quickly implement that would make a noticeable difference in my wallet?

Simply put: shop less often. Plan meals 2 weeks at a time, and do a ‘big’ shop only twice a month. Make in-between trips brief, essential, and sales-driven. Whenever possible, be creative and do with what you have instead of going to the store for one or two items. Fewer trips to the store mean less impulse buying, and that always translates to more money in your pocket.

Mary, you also homeschool your kids. Does your homeschooling fit into a certain category (classical, relaxed, unschooling). Also, can you tell us what grades you are currently homeschooling?

I’m definitely a relaxed homeschooler. This year I have a senior, a sophomore, four kids in the 6th/7th grade range, a 2nd grader, and a kindergartner. I’ve homeschooled long enough to know that my laid-back approach gets good results—my older kids have been successful in college. But that doesn’t mean I don’t try new things. I just bought a new math program for my ‘middle’ kids that I’m really excited about. It’s called Teaching Textbooks. The kids are taught and do their work on the computer, and the computer automatically grades their work, which thrills me. For awhile there I was sinking under the load of stepping 4 kids through fractions and decimals at once, so I’m really glad to be doing something different.

Can we expect another book from you in the future, perhaps on adoption or homeschooling? Or is there another topic you'd like to write about?

I’ve thought about sharing our adoption story in more detail, so I might write about that at some point. But cooking is my current passion. I’ve gathered together a bunch of recipes, and would love to write another cookbook, maybe one with pictures this time. But we’ll see!


Many thanks to Mary for granting me this fun interview! Mary is being very generous and offering a copy of each of her books, Family Feasts for $75 a Week and A Sane Woman's Guide to Raising a Large Family for a giveaway! All you have to do to enter the drawing is leave a note in the comments, making sure there it has your contact information. Share the giveaway on Facebook, Twitter, or your blog and leave a comment letting me know you did. You'll be entered again for each time you share! Comments will close on Friday.

Morning Winter Sun and Clue #3

Sun is rare around these parts in winter. Yesterday morning I grabbed my camera and braved the eight degrees of warmth to take photos of the sun that greeted me as I walked into the kitchen that morning.

Dark winter days have me wishing for spring days and mud and gardening, planting with my little planting princess, Ella, close by collecting worms. Mmmm... all the good things we'll plant: carrots and lettuces, spinach, tomatoes and potatoes, and many more lovely green things. Which brings me to my next clue. The author I'm interviewing lives in the state known for their potatoes.

Any guesses?

A favorite homeschooling resource and clue #2

We have a reluctant reader who has improved by leaps and bounds this past "school" year. Mostly due to perseverence and consistancy in chugging along with reading together, but partly due to this game, which he finds hilarious.

"The frog ate a big crocodile."

"A green man climbed the little dinosaur under the table."

These are the kinds of sentances he comes up with, and in the meantime he's learned parts of speech and has been enjoying reading! Now he whips through his readers (whips slowly, he's still a slow reader) with confidence and no complaint.

I found this game at our local T.J. Maxx but you can buy it here online, or be creative and make your own.

Speaking of reading, our fun giveaway next week is for not one, but TWO books written by the author I interviewed! TWO! Which means two winners, which is always more fun than one, right? Any guesses?

Winter Trip to the Zoo and Clue #1

Suffering from a bit of cabin fever, we braved the elements with some fellow home schooling friends and visited the zoo this past Wednesday. Our walk through the zoo was a walk in a winter wonderland, with heavy flakes falling and the temperature a balmy 28 F.

On Monday, I'll be posting an interview I did with someone whose writing and lifestyle I greatly admire. Here's your first clue. She homeschools too. Any guesses?

There will be a giveaway too, so make sure you stop back to leave a comment next week to be put in the drawing for.... well, that'll be tomorrow's clue #2.