Our Daughters

Read with me here.

A Hiatus

To you be the glory, Lord.



I've been contemplating what direction to take this blog, whether to close up shop or continue on. I recently faced again the ugly fact once again that I am sinner.

Imperfect.
Unholy.
Unrighteous.

I'm aware of this fact on a daily basis and its implications in motherhood and being a wife. I hate myself when I lose my patience or think afterward of a kinder way to phrase what was said. When I complain about crumbs on the floor and laundry and the little ones responsible are watching and listening with their little ears. This time my thoughtlessness affected friends and I wept when I heard it. Because as much as I can think my heart is in the right place sometimes I'm thoughtless and don't make enough effort to protect the people I love.



I don't want to be on anyone's pedestal. I cringe when I hear Proverbs and my name referenced together because I see how imperfect I am. I know. I am not the Proverbs 31 woman. She would have tact and grace and far, far more wisdom than I often do.

You may follow me as I follow Christ, but know that I am made righteous only through His grace. There is nothing good in me that is not from Him. When I share my thoughts and ideas on this blog, I am not telling or asking anyone to compare themselves to me. I plead with you not to. I will mess up at parenting and at being a wife and a friend. My heart will break and I will try to make things right but I am so imperfect.

We have guests in town right now, Sean's birthday the 27th, and not much summer left to enjoy with my children. I'll be taking this time to focus on my family and asking God to work on me and to be quiet instead of blogging.

Blessings,
Hannah

More on Preschool

I remember when we contemplated preschool for Annaliese when she was a toddler. The city we lived in offered it for free and I believed that it would offer her an opportunity to learn to play with other kids, learn to listen and follow instructions, give me time alone with her younger siblings, and teach her some basic pre-kindergarten skills. Those are probably a lot of the same reasons so many parents choose to enroll their children in preschool. While I don't remember what the reasoning was behind us not sending her, I see the folly of my initial thinking today - that I needed to send her to be trained.

In studying the Biblical requirements set before parents, I've noticed that the weight of a child's education and training repeatedly falls on the parent. I'm not anti-public or private school. I see the deep need that they are attempting to fill and I have a lot of good friends who are a blessing to those institutions. If you read the scriptures though, you will see that the rabbis, leaders, and teachers of the law weren't held responsible or instructed on educating the children. The parents were.

Whatever educational choices your family makes, it is the parent who will be held accountable for the content of their lessons, the things emphasized and taught, and the spiritual environment we place our children in and all the lovely habits we allow to be rubbed into our children. This goes for both home and public schooling.

In studying early child development over the years, I've learned that boys and girls brains develop differently and at different rates. For instance, boys acquire the ability to have impulse control a lot later than girls and from a young age girls are able to absorb more information at once. This is why boys typically get into more trouble in school and why parents may feel incapable of training them at home. It is also why little girls can chit-chat with their friends and still rattle off the lesson at the end of the day. Studying early childhood development at the most basic level is so beneficial and eye-opening in parenting.

Another thing I've learned is that the ages between two and six are some of the most impressionable ages of a child. They are both like little sponges and wet cement, soaking everything in and solidifying it in their brains. This isn't my opinion, it is all in the way God has designed our children. This is also why consistency in parenting is so important.

Why? I believe God wanted those first years spent with parents to be an impressionable time, giving our children a solid basis and foundation for life. That is why He tells us to instruct our children throughout every part of the day and every activity of the day. What goes into a toddler and preschool aged child stays there. This is a great time for memorizing scripture and teaching values because they stick.

I think there is a deep level of deception that says we as parents are somehow incapable of providing what our children need and sends us searching for someone else to carry the burden of responsibility. Not that we are intentionally shirking our responsibility but we feel obligated to do the right thing and best thing for our child. It's a noble deception.

This same kind of deception that tells us that our children need to learn about God in children's church and be entertained in order to acquire a reverence for God. I love our children's pastor and his family and am thankful for them, but he knows and I know that Sean and I are responsible for teaching my children about God and he supports us in that.

Are preschool inherently evil? No. I worked in a state funded Head Start program as a nurse before Sean and I married. I loved working with the children and I can say with assurance that every teacher there was dedicated and excellent and loved the children. Is preschool the best choice?

For more information and support in choosing the best for your family check out:
Preschoolers and Peace
Raising Girls
Home Grown Kids
Is Preschool Good for Social Skills?
Dr. Laura's Opinion
Let's Not Institutionalize 3, 4, and 5 Year Olds

Blessings,
Hannah

A Positive Social Creature

"Many conscientious parents have been convinced that nursery school is a must for their three year old. Some make financial deposits and apply well ahead of time to make sure their little jewels are admitted early to institutional life. They have been persuaded by the ongoing myth that children of that age must be exposed to many other little ones in order to be socialized. The truth is that these children are indeed socialized, but not in the way most parents would wish..."

from Homegrown Kids by Dorothy and Raymond Moore. SO far, I am loving this book.

Friday Family Day

With friends...

Rosie the Riveter

Loving my new Rosie the Riveter overalls! I was thrilled when I found this pattern, having always wanted a pair of feminine but tough overalls to work in. Quick and easy pattern, clearance denim was $2 a yard, I think. Not bad for a $6 or so project.

Eyes

Do you ever look into your child's eyes and wonder what they will see during their lifetime? Wars and peace, their babies in their arms, great grandchildren running about, family gathered around the table, sunsets, happinesses and sorrows...

I pray that they will have eyes that see with compassion, with tenderness and understanding. I pray that I will have the wisdom to teach them not to turn away from uncomfortable sights and heartache simply because it makes them uncomfortable. I pray that we will have the wisdom to teach them that uncomfortableness in our hearts is a sign that we need to be moved to compassionate action. I pray this for myself.

Our Day

Quarts of freshly canned plums and a little lost Robin...

Taking time to be silly

Have you taken time to cause each of your children laugh today?

Sometimes I can be such a serious woman. Most of the time.
I like my lists, getting things done, and being busy.
Taking time to just be silly with my kids is hard for me but when I do it, I love it. This morning I played a game of peek-a-boo, hung someone upside down and cracked cheesy jokes with a kiddo who loves them. Is humor a love language? I think it's hers....

Adoption/foster update

Just a tid-bit for those of you who have asked that I keep the blog updated: everything (fingerprints, medical, etc.) is in and finished and we are just waiting for our homefinder to finish writing up our homestudy. Yay! So excited!
Yesterday the kids helped me clean out the new bedroom, hang curtains and put down a rug. Sean put together the crib last night and we made up the bed. We did everything in neutral colors, golds, tans, and whites. The crib is dark brown. It looks lovely.
Now we are just playing the waiting game and trying to get as much done as possible in the meantime before life changes its course a little bit more.

Love

I remember when my husband and I were engaged to be married...eleven or so years ago... he mentioned to the couple doing our premarital counseling that love is not a feeling. He said he chose and made a decision to love me. It honestly infuriated me at the time, being on such an emotional high of loving him, but now I understand.
He wasn't saying that he had no emotional feelings for me, but that his love was not going to be based on changing and unsteady emotions. Nor was his commitment.

All these years later, I appreciate his frankness. I appreciate that his decision and commitment to love has been unwavering through job losses, fifty months of pregnancy, a sick child and surgeries, family stresses, venturing out into self-employment and all the other blessings and changes of life.

True Christian Motherhood

Beginning soon a mothering small group, this list touched my heart and has given me much to meditate on.

Every year for the past few, we've spent a fun family day at a water park an hour or so away from home. This year we debated what to do, since we have two very small children who would probably not enjoy the experience so much as the rest of us.
We initially decided to try another park that might have more child-centered activities but the cost was high and the drive there longer. But here we are now, the happy owners of a season pass to all of our state parks. The season pass cost less than one day at the waterpark and we've already been a half dozen times, whenever the sun decides to share its glory with us. We can visit any park as often as we like.
I can't think of anything more child-centered than a warm beach, wet sand and water to splash and swim in. Neither can our kids.