There was a great homeschool Mom's night out on Monday. Sean stayed home with the littles and I got a chance to go out all by my big self! Can you believe it!


One friend shared what God has been teaching her about true greatness these past weeks. You could have heard a pin drop. She spoke for God.

Afterward many of the women spoke of what God has taught them over the years about teaching character and developing character in our children. Many of these women have years on me as a Mom and as a home educator and it was so good, so refreshing to hear their wisdom and perspectives.
One thing in particular that God spoke to me through one of the ladies was that we often carry this heavy load of all that we need to do as Mom's to develop character in our children, and true, that is one of our responsibilities. But often we carry the entire weight of this, when in fact a lot of it is not ours to carry. It is God's spirit that will work in our children's hearts and lives just as He has worked in each of our lives and continues to do.

We cannot be the Holy Spirit for our children. We can only teach them to listen, to be soft hearted, obedient, and willing to God's voice.


In the midst of all these conversations another mom gave us all hand massages with her essential oils, we snacked and the adoption, RAD, FAS talking began.

I heard homeschoolers get a bad rap from a pretty notable Christian speaker recently. It really turned my stomach. I don't mind people thinking we're different as a family or questioning the details of how home education works. Questions are how we all learn.


This man said that homeschooling is a breeding ground for legalism.

In the same breath he could easily point to prayer groups as a breeding ground for gossipers or the church for hypocrites. See, the thing is, you can point to any group and highlight it's lowest common denominator. It just isn't a fair way to work or a necessarily good assessment.

I wish he could have sat in with us the other night. Some of the most self-less people I know were there. Folks raising kids the foster system ruined, kids with brains literally poisoned by alcohol, kids that were abused as infants, AIDS orphans, kiddos that couldn't receive a hug or any other type of affection until they were four years old without having a seizure.

There wasn't a denim jumper or pair of long braids or a bun in the room (though right now I'm wishing for long hair to throw back in a braid!). If there had been, don't you think the love of their lives would have outshone their wardrobe choices? I do.

Misc. Orphan care/immigration/foster care

It is not uncommon for my thoughts to fall onto the topic of building family. It is what we are immersed in at present and praying about for the future. So as I sit and knit and sign with the cute fellow on the floor, I pray and think and pray a bit more, sun streaming through the windows.

Between school lessons with questions about conjunctions and consonant blends, times tables and such... "Should we go? Should we pull up, sell, get vaccinations, buy bug repellent, house orphans?"
Between wiping nose, giving a cuddle, nursing and knitting the remaining stitches after a yarn over, "God, where do you want us? Should we stay here and focus on this city, these immigrants, tackle foster care, adopt, dig down roots, plant a bigger garden?"

I have great peace about either. Both. Maybe one is for now, another for later? One day at a time we go. One stitch at a time I knit.

"Trust in the Lord and do good.
Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.
Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you your heart’s desires.

Commit everything you do to the Lord.
Trust him, and he will help you.
He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn,
and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun.

Be still in the presence of the Lord,
and wait patiently for him to act.

The wicked borrow and never repay,
but the godly are generous givers.
Those the Lord blesses will possess the land,
but those he curses will die.

The Lord directs the steps of the godly.
He delights in every detail of their lives.
Though they stumble, they will never fall,
for the Lord holds them by the hand."

verses from Psalm 37. You can read the entire chapter here.

John Abbott on the Christian mother

"Teach them, for example, that when their father, or you yourself, assemble them for morning or evening prayer, it is not a mere form, or a duty that they are to witness merely, but to take part in. Teach them, on the other hand, that they have themselves an active and important duty to perform at these seasons.

"When your father reads the passage of scripture," you can say to them, "you must not be inattentive, but must fix your thoughts upon what he reads, and to apply the instructions to your own case. And as he addresses God in prayer, you should silently repeat after him all the words of his petition, trying to make them your own. And thus you should make the season of family prayer, a season in which you not merely listen to your father's prayer, but engage in devotion yourselves."

It will not be sufficient to inculcate such a lesson as this upon your children by precept alone; you must lead them to such duties by your example. They must see the evidence of a sincere spirit of devotion in you." John Abbott 1833

read the rest here.

Before the storm

First light

And a good morning to you too, Mr. Sunshine.

Vintage Housedress

I have had this super cute pattern in my stash for years. I think it is a new favorite, so quick and easy to sew up and I LOVE the big pockets. More photos here.

Spoiled

Tulips, homemade gourmet truffles, and a handwritten valentine.

What more could a woman want?

How We Do Valentines

A big breakfast of pancakes and homemade maple syrup,

stacked high with butter,



gifty books for the children, which include a few of my favorite things about each of them,
gigantic heart cookies with lots of sugar,

kisses and whispers and reading of Valentines around the table,


Hope yours was just as lovely!

Little Things

"Catch all the foxes, those little foxes, before they ruin the vineyard of love, while our vineyards are in blossom."

A few days ago Sean and I chose this verse from the Song of Solomon to discuss with the couples who gather here on Thursday nights, focused on strengthening our marriages and building our families.

Sean and I decided that it would be a good idea to send each couple home with individual assignments this week to think/pray/meditate on what little foxes each of us are allowing or contributing to our marriage. This is an inward exercise, not a time to come up with a list of our spouses offenses or character flaws.

You know, some couples look to divorce because of "big" things like adultery and pornography, betrayal, addictions... But a lot of broken or dysfunctional homes come about as a result of little things adding up. Little irritations, impoliteness, rudeness, lack of love, disrespect, selfishness... Before the couples know it they've "fallen out of love" and are second guessing whether they married the "right" person, contemplating calling it quits.

I've been spending a little of my prayer time every day focused on this, asking God to reveal to me what I am contributing to our marriage that is damaging and thinking of examples to share tonight as we talk.

One thing I realize is that I do little things, little quirks, little annoyances, little grown up tantrums (can I be honest here?), little rudeness's - and because Sean is gracious and loving and mostly always wonderful he brushes them off or lets me tell him how to make the custard the right way because his is too lumpy even though he was doing me an enormous favor by making it in the first place...

It's the little things with me, I think, that "Oh, Sean doesn't mind so I don't need to change, it doesn't seem to bother him, I don't need to practice patience or self control, because it must not be affecting our marriage..." When truly it is affecting my character, my outward/inward likeness to Christ, my relationship with Sean and with God, the example I am giving for my children, the legacy I am leaving - all these things.

I am painfully becoming aware.

Questions about having a large family

"How do you do it?"

We just do it. Whatever needs to be done next, well, that's what you do! And there are more hands for doing it!

"How do you keep your house clean?
Do you have help?"

Hwaahahaha! Oh, ha hahaha ha! Hee hee, ha, ha....

First off, I don't have a house cleaner (though I did for a brief stint while expecting Ella Catherine). And so I don't have a perfectly tidy house ninety percent of the time, any of the time, unless it is late at night and everyone else is sleeping. I'm good with that. This is a home, not a model house. There are supposed to be block towers and socks and baby dolls about and bare feet running and voices singing. It makes our home alive!

From the time they can walk, the kiddos help in some sort of way with chores. A two year old can hand silverware from the dishwasher or wipe at the cabinets with a damp washcloth. Eight year olds can stir a pot of soup or bake a cake for dessert with supervision. Working together as a family is actually enjoyable! Who woulda thought?

"You must have a lot of support to be able to have a big family."

Yes and no. For one reason or another, we don't have regular support from extended family. Some of them live far away and some of them have their own busy lives. What we do have, however, are awesome friends and church family and a homeschooling community for which I am very, very thankful. People often ask how I manage to educate our kiddos at home but the truth is I don't know that I could parent so fully without the support of the home education community.

Isn't it expensive to have a large family?

If you've been reading Cultivating Home for any length of time, you know that I am pretty frugal. I also hold strong opinions about what constitutes a necessary expense and what constitutes wise spending. By having a garden, cooking delicious home cooked meals, shopping second hand, sewing and such we actually have very few big expenses related to our children or ourselves. We strive to be debt free, owing only on our home and a bit left on our van.

What about vacations?

Well, besides all the perks of being self-employed.... I'm trying to think what those would be and am coming up short... one not so happy fact is that my husband is the business. He can only vacation when his office is closed. Which is on federal holidays.
So we take lots of Family Days! We love, love, love family days. Family Days are cheaper than a big vacation would be, come more often, and did I mention that we love them? Take for instance our zoo trip this past weekend. The zoo admissions for Jan/Feb are half price, the temperature was 50 (warm for us!), and the total cost for our family of seven - $6! We added in a quick stop to a thrift store and dinner ala a Wegman's picnic. It was a great day.
Some family days we visit Sean's grandparents, go swimming in the East Canada Creek, hang out at camp, butcher chickens, take a weekend trip someplace pretty, browse antique mills, stay home and go for walks, sled, cook a big meal together, have a bonfire... The possibilities are endless!

Family Day at the Zoo