Sunday, August 30

Digging Potatoes

"God grow me. God, push me towards You."

I never thought that these simple prayers would result in so much turmoil this year in my heart. The things I've been challenged to leave to God, the things I've wanted to vindicate on my own behalf, the trust of holding my heavenly Father's hand while holding my tongue and realizing His agenda is more important than mine.

Stepping over vines, setting the empty bin on the red garden bench, I survey the plot before me.

My husband likes to say that God doesn't care about our comfort, He cares about our character. I think on these things while digging potatoes in the hot sun, bare footed in the brown earth, shovel pushing down deep, loosening.

Is my character a blessing to my children? Does it enhance my marriage or do it harm? Does it bring glory to God?

"Lord, I want to be like Jesus, in my heart, in my heart. Lord, I want to be like Jesus, in my heart."

I sing the song with my children, ever aware of the desire He places in me to be more like Him and the daily struggles that get in the way of my submitting.

Can I trust a God who uses pain, who allows it, to bring about His character and His will in my life?

Do I enjoy the process?
Oh, no.

The brown dirt and straw loosen their hold on the withering potato stalks. I've barely dug a quarter of the plot and my arms and back ache. I'm uncomfortable. The sun is beating down.

I see God calling me daily to trust Him. For our children's salvation, for our family size, for my husband's business, and for all His other plans and purposes for our lives where worry or stress could easily take hold in any mama's life.

One by one the purple, red, yellow and white potatoes roll from the earth. I stop and stand, enjoying a passing breeze, soaking in its coolness, listening to my boys play and remember doing this same potato digging last year. Now, I'm beginning to enjoy the process.

I rest in His peace. This foolish worrywart is no longer such a worrier, all because of Him.

Romans 5 and Romans 12 have been my daily bread. "So far as it depends on you, live at peace....", "tribulation brings about perseverance ; and perseverance, proven character ; and proven character, hope ; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us."

"God grow me. God, push me towards You."

It's not a prayer for wimps. Or maybe it is.


anya* said...

"not a prayer for wimps- or maybe it is."
I have been thinking along these lines lately. If we allow ourselves to be 'wimps' and humbly admit defeat- that we can not and will not do it in our own strength, well I think that is just where God wants us, needs us, to be. Until then we are trying to grow ourselves and it gets all tangled. I don't want to be tangled- but the straightening, weeding out, is so hard. But then we are right back at Romans 12 right? And that is really where we want to be...
my ramblings for tonight:)anyways, your thoughts resonated with mine.

Married life said...

Very very well written! I find myself thinking the same thing over the past year.

God bless you.

Mrs. G

Linda said...

I love Romans 12.

Diane said...

Now I'm nervous.... Do I pray that prayer or not.....? My way never seems to work so YES!!!!!

Shiloah Baker said...

I enjoyed your thoughts and analogies. Thank you for sharing. :)

I'm a fellow homeschooling mom of a large family and would be interested in interviewing you for my blog in our Mothers of Large Families series:

I look forward to hearing from you. :)