I've been contemplating what direction to take this blog, whether to close up shop or continue on. I recently faced again the ugly fact once again that I am sinner.
I'm aware of this fact on a daily basis and its implications in motherhood and being a wife. I hate myself when I lose my patience or think afterward of a kinder way to phrase what was said. When I complain about crumbs on the floor and laundry and the little ones responsible are watching and listening with their little ears. This time my thoughtlessness affected friends and I wept when I heard it. Because as much as I can think my heart is in the right place sometimes I'm thoughtless and don't make enough effort to protect the people I love.
I don't want to be on anyone's pedestal. I cringe when I hear Proverbs and my name referenced together because I see how imperfect I am. I know. I am not the Proverbs 31 woman. She would have tact and grace and far, far more wisdom than I often do.
You may follow me as I follow Christ, but know that I am made righteous only through His grace. There is nothing good in me that is not from Him. When I share my thoughts and ideas on this blog, I am not telling or asking anyone to compare themselves to me. I plead with you not to. I will mess up at parenting and at being a wife and a friend. My heart will break and I will try to make things right but I am so imperfect.
We have guests in town right now, Sean's birthday the 27th, and not much summer left to enjoy with my children. I'll be taking this time to focus on my family and asking God to work on me and to be quiet instead of blogging.