It is of such concern to us that the divorce rate within the Christian community is the same as the culture surrounding us and in some instances even higher. I always wonder what we expect the world to be attracted to when the body of Christ sadly has as much dysfunction inside as outside. We really, really appreciate that our local church is making a bold turn toward valuing children and that our children's pastor and his wife are incredible people.
One of Mormonism's big attractions, I think, is their big emphasis on marriage and family, including their track record of a divorce rate half that of born again Christians. They really do present themselves in an attractive way to a society brimming with broken families and dysfunctional homes.Sean and I are trying to figure out how to better focus our desire for stronger families and marriages within the Christian culture. In the past, leading small groups in our home specifically focused on marriage has been one way we've been able to see marriages strengthened and so we're looking forward to beginning another focused marriage group this fall. We've also enjoyed having couples in our home for premarital counseling and marital counseling. We feel really blessed that God has given us those opportunities but we want to do more, help more, see more change.
And so we're wondering, what has your place of worship done to strengthen marriages and families? What works? What doesn't work?
As an added bribe to get your comments on the subject, someone will be picked at random to receive some great marriage and family resources if cultivating home receives over 50 comments. Mention it on your blog and I'd be most appreciative!
Just leave your answers to these questions, plus anything else you'd like to add, in the comment section.1. Are you married? Single, divorced, never married... Not trying to be nosy, just curious. Okay, so it is a nosy question. Bear with me.
2. Are your parents still married? Again- curious/nosy.
3. Do you regularly attend church? Most of these questions are geared toward church attendees but please feel welcome to comment if you do not attend church.
4.How many sermons/special events in the church have been geared toward marriage in 2008?
5.How many sermons/special events in the church have been geared toward parenting in 2008?
5. When you need/want marriage help or resources where do you go?
6. Do you feel supported in your role as a parent by your local church? How so? C'mon, give me ideas! I covet good ideas!
7. On a scale of 1-10, how focused is your local church on building strong marriages/families? Tell me what they do. More good ideas here, please!
Please comment, even if you cannot use the books, I'm sure someone you know could! And lastly, as a side note, Sean and I have the honor of serving in a fabulous church but this survey is my own and the giveaway is funded by my hard working husband. (thanks, honey!)
Blessings,
Hannah
Must run, the kids are out burying a dead frog they found in the driveway!
55 commentators:
1. Married!
2. Parents are divorced. Dad remarried when I was about 7yo. Mom is on marriage #3 and finally found a good man. LOL
3. Do you regularly attend church?
Yes (Presbyterian if it matters)
4. Maybe a couple sermons, but no special events.
5. Just mother's day/Father's day sermons
5. A close friend is a Christian counselor and her husband. He preformed our wedding and they both did premarital counseling with us.
6. Not really. We have a mom's group I attend, but beyond that I don't feel overly supported. It's an older congregation and there doesn't seem to be much emphasis on young families.
7. I'd give them a 5.
I am married (8 years) with three children, both my parents and my husbands parents are still married. Our family is very centered around Christ and the church that we attend every Sunday. We belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. At our particular congregation it seems as if everything is geared toward families and children. We have realized that Satan is making a direct attact on mothers and the family. We as a family dedicate every Monday night to hold a family lesson and activity where the kids get to be in charge of the prayer, songs, and treats. We try to hold one on one talks with our children as well. We are taught that we must be teaching and preparing our children now while they are young how to face and overcome the challenges and temptations in the world in order to stay close to the Lord. We serve in our church as teachers and I used to work directly with the children in Primary (which has it's own activities for the children.) I feel supported by the other women in the church as we get together and talk about the gospel, children, husbands, better ideas to keep families strong. We hold a weekly playgroup and a monthly meeting just for women. Our leaders gave us a proclamation that reminded us just how important marriage and family is. Here is the link: http://www.lds.org/library/display/0,4945,161-1-11-1,00.html
I'm realizing I have too much to say in a comment, so hopefully it wasn't too disjointed and that some of it was helpful! I love reading your blog and the standards that you hold, as well as your joy in the simple and pure things in life. Thank you for writing it!
I've never commented - but felt compelled to today! (That and a giveaway is always fun) Answers to your questions:
1)Married - almost 8 years with two kids
2)Both mine & my husband's parents are still married (only once)
3)My husband is a preacher, so yes, we regularly worship with believers. We are non-denominational New Testament Christians.
4)We've probably had about 4 sermons so far this year geared towards marriage, but we are having a gospel meeting starting tomorrow through Sunday about "Inviting God Into Our Homes" which will cover marriage along with parenting, grandparenting, etc. We are also scheduled to have a Bible class on the SoS focusing on marriage in the winter.
5)Not as many sermons her - mostly because my husband is a relatively new father - hence the special gospel meeting this weekend.
6)Generally to books that I've heard recommended on other blogs. Or my husband's stacked bookshelves... =)
7)I can't say that I necessarily feel supported, but mostly because my husband and I are doing a good bit of the supporting. We are a relatively young church in average age with LOTS of new young families considering we only have about 50 members. I look forward to hearing other's ideas on this one!
8) I would say very focused - we have never done children's church (although we do have Bible classes) because we feel that children need to be with their parents in worship and for it to be a family thing. In like-minded congregations as ours you find a relatively low divorce rate - we have never taken divorce lightly or brush it under the rug. There is only one Scriptural exemption (adultery). Again - looking forward to other ideas here!
Hope this helps - I look forward to reading other's comments. I don't have a blog, or else I'd pass the word round! -Tiffany
1. Are you married? Single, divorced, never married... Not trying to be nosy, just curious. Okay, so it is a nosy question. Bear with me.
2. Are your parents still married? Again- curious/nosy.
3. Do you regularly attend church? Most of these questions are geared toward church attendees but please feel welcome to comment if you do not attend church.
4.How many sermons/special events in the church have been geared toward marriage in 2008?
5.How many sermons/special events in the church have been geared toward parenting in 2008?
5. When you need/want marriage help or resources where do you go?
6. Do you feel supported in your role as a parent by your local church? How so? C'mon, give me ideas! I covet good ideas!
7. On a scale of 1-10, how focused is your local church on building strong marriages/families? Tell me what they do. More good ideas here, please!
I think this is an important area for churches to focus on too. I am happy to say, we feel our church does a great job!
1. I have been married for 7.5 years.
2. My parents are still married. My husband's parents are separated, but still do a tons of stuff together(it's a weird relationship). We are praying they will be fully reconciled.
3. Yes, we go faithfully Sun. and Wed.
4. I am not completely sure, but at least 4 sermons that relate to marriage that were preached from the pulpit. We also have several Sunday School classes that are geared towards families. I know my class has a series every year on marriage and several times through the year the are lessons relating to marriage
5. The answer is the same as above as far as sermons on parenting. But every summer, we have summer workshops that adults are to pick from and one of the workshops available is on parenting, one year it is for parenting older children and the other year for the younger years starting at birth. Our pastor and his wife lead these sessions and offer a wealth of advice and info. The book this year is Shepherding A Child's Heart. They have a ? and answer session in each class. In our Sunday school class we just finished a series on parenting.
Our theme for the church in 2007 ws Building up our Families. Also our pastor is planning a Family Weekend Conference in spring of '09 and bring in several speakers to speak on the family.
6. When I need to talk or need advice for my marriage, I go to my Sunday School teachers wife or a couple of other ladies whom I consider my mentors.
7. I feel that our church does a great job in supporting parents. Some of the things it does I already addressed. In addition, they offer a Ladies Morning Bible Study in the spring and fall. There are typically 3 different types offered and one is always on parenting or marriage. This is a huge encouragement to me each week.
Also we have a Wed. night children's program similar to Awana and parents are encouraged to discuss the verses w/ their children. There are several children's activities offered throughout the year. On our church website, there are links to resources to help build up the family. It gives a list of books to assist in parenting and in marriage.
8. I would give our church a 9 on helping us build good marriages and families. I have listed several areas where they encourage us. One things that helps too is in our Sun. School classes we have caregroups. Each group consist of 4-8 families that get together throughout the year for activites. This help in forming close relationship and allows for fellowship in small group. Our class has activities for families and for couples throughout the year. We do a huge Easter event every year, a harvest activity and we go camping twice a year. For couples we have a Valentine's and Christmas party.
I hope that helps!
LOVE your heart and passsion for marriages and family! That has always been our passion also!
I am married and have been for almost 14 years. My DH parents were married for more than 60 years and my parents for over twenty until my Dad's passing. Both showed a very strong sense of marriage and family, great examples.
We attend church regularly, my husband is a Business Pastor of our church, we lead a small group and a Discipleship groups (husband with men me with women) and we have mentored other couples and taught marriage and parenting classes.
Not very often are sermons geared towards parenting and marriage Hmmmm maybe on to something!!
For resources I go to books or seasoned women I know.
I think resources are hard to come by and input from others too. Seems like a lot of people are "winging" it or looking for answers that are difficult to find. A lot of people say they "do what our parents did" which was not always positive.
I think we need more eduction and mentoring set up in the church to lead those who are newer in there marriage, parenting or faith or those that are struggling. To come along side of them. We need to help hold each other up!
I would say about a 5. We do an excellent job of being and building disciples and leading others to Christ but I think we sometimes forget about the body we already have, IMO.
Thanks for the chance to win!!
Blessings to you!
Sue
marklovessue@numail.org
Hannah,
1. I am married.
2. My parents are married.
3. I regularly attend church.
4. Our church has had 1 special event geared toward marriage in 2008.
5. Our church has had 1 special event geared toward parenting in 2008.
6. I guess I feel supported in my role as a parent....
7. I guess I would say our church regards building strong marriages and families as important, but I couldn't tell you how they show that so maybe.....they're not?
Appreciate your blog!
Mama K, thanks for being the first commenter! After 105 hits this afternoon, there's six comments. Touchy subject?
Knudsen family, thanks for your input as well!
Tiffany, what a wealth of ideas!
Ben and April, I enjoyed reading your answers. Good luck in homeschooling. We love the way it fits our family and allows us to be our children's primary influence!
Sue and NZ girl, thank you for commenting also!
1. Married
2. Yes, as are my grandparents (& my other grandparents were until my grandmother passed away)
3. Yes, BUT we recently moved and have been traveling back & forth quite abit this summer, so our church attendance has bounced around between several churches, all w/in our denomination.
4.I don't recall any special events off the top of my head, but again, all the bouncing around probably accounts for that, I would guess at least 2 of the churches had Valentines things, dh isn't a fan of such things (& honestly, neither am I, we're homebodies, we'd rather just be home together) so I didn't keep track of such information. Sermons, I hear bits & pieces of with the kids, I can't give you a number, but I do recall some family/marriage focused sermons earlier this year (our old church)
5.Again, I don't recall information enough to remember. At our old church there was a family skate night one Sat. night a month Fall thru Spring. I don't recall any parenting themed sermons but our pastor at our old church didn't have kids, so I honestly wouldn't expect a complete sermon on parenting from someone w/ no experience.
5. The Bible
6. Again we just moved, our new church, we've only attended a few times (because we were heading back to the old house, my parents, MIL's most of the summer, and then tried a couple different churches in this town). There are very few young families in this church, from what I've been able to tell, BUT I've been very impressed w/ the willingness to help out in the kids classes at church (our old church was much larger w/ LOTS of kids, and it was a total scramble to find anyone to lead out, or even help out, in the kids' divisions, and always ended up falling exclusively on those of us who had young kids of our own, which IMO isn't ideal since it divides our attention. This church has very few kids but there have been at least 3 teachers in my kids' class each week, most of them older people who don't still have kids this age. So, based on that, I would guess that this church will be very supportive of families/parenting.
7. Again, it's too soon to tell, but just the overall feel of the church (close-knit, conservative, mostly older couples) I would expect them to be supportive of families.
1. I AM HAPPILY MARRIED (6 YEARS)
2. BOTH MY HUSBAND AND MY PARENTS ARE STILL MARRIED AND ARE GREAT EXAMPLES TO US
3. YES, WE ATTEND CHURCH (NON-DENOMINATIONAL)
4. OUR CHURCH HAS PARENTING CLASSES AND MARRIAGE SEMINARS AT LEAST TWICE A YEAR
4. I THINK A FEW SERMONS A YEAR?
5. WE GO TO FAMILY AND FRIENDS WE RESPECT AND READ SOME (IF I DON'T WIN I REALLY WANT TO BUY ONE OF YOUR SUGGESTIONS!)
6. I HAVE A MOMS GROUP AND ALWAYS HAVE SUPPORT WITH MEALS WHEN I HAVE A NEW BABY. MOST OF MY SUPPORT WOULD COME FROM OTHER CHRISTIAN MOMS I TALK TO ABOUT PARENTING AND MARRIAGE
7. I WOULD GIVE THEM AN 8
1. Married
2. Married but just stay together because the "have to".
3. Yes
4. 6 or 7 on marriage and child rearing
5. We have a small church and would see the pastor if we needed counseling.
6. Yes I feel supported. Your relationship with the Lord then your spouse then your children in that order are stressed alot. Everything else in life is just extra and shouldn't hinder those three relationships.
7. I would give them a 10. We don't have all the extras (sunday school and young peoples) because they are no where mentioned in the Bible and we strive not to add or subtract from the word of God. All worship as a church is done by as a family.
Great topic! A good marriage is the foundation and makes child rearing so much easier when parents work together.
Great topic, and the give away doesn't hurt:)
1. Are you married? Single, divorced, never married... Not trying to be nosy, just curious. Okay, so it is a nosy question. Bear with me.
A. Married, 7 years on 8/11
2. Are your parents still married? Again- curious/nosy.
A. Yes, 29 years.
3. Do you regularly attend church? Most of these questions are geared toward church attendees but please feel welcome to comment if you do not attend church.
A. Yes, we have always gone to church as a couple, although there have been seasons we were more plugged in, and a season of homechurch as well.
4.How many sermons/special events in the church have been geared toward marriage in 2008?
A. I would have to say mothers day/fathers day as well as a 3 week series on marriage. Although there hasnt been a focus in our local church, our pastor and wife and four other couples just went to Haiti for a week to bless and teach pastors and their spouses at a marriage retreat/seminar. I think it is wonderful, but do feel bummed we don't have the same opportunity!
5.How many sermons/special events in the church have been geared toward parenting in 2008?
A. None
5. When you need/want marriage help or resources where do you go?
A. I look online or I go to the bookstore.
6. Do you feel supported in your role as a parent by your local church? How so? C'mon, give me ideas! I covet good ideas!
A. Childcare is provided for everything! Seriously. I go to a Friday morning bible study each week for 2.5 hours and all three of my little ones are cared for by wonderful h.s. girls (home schooled) and it is SUCH a blessing for me. What I wish my local church offered was the one Friday a month where your children can be baby sat so parents can go on a date. I think couples do not go out nearly enough. We need that time as husband and wife to be together and have FUN. Families don't have the luxury (always) to call grandma and have her come over. We all live spread out, Grandma has a job of her own, life of her own and doesn't have time, ect.
7. On a scale of 1-10, how focused is your local church on building strong marriages/families? Tell me what they do. More good ideas here, please!
A.well a yearly campout at a state park....I think this area is lacking:(
1. Married for about 3 years
2. Parents are married and have an awesome marriage.
3. Yes
4. Can't count how many sermons. Pastor did an entire series on marriage from 1 Cor. Small groups doing a study on Love and Respect (within marriage)
5. the Word. And so far we have not needed any "outside" help. Praise the Lord.
6. I wouldn't say that I feel too supported as a parent.
7. I would have to divide this question. I seriously would give them a 10 for marriage but only a 4 for parenting/family. There is much emphasis placed on the union of marriage but they do seem to fall short on the parenting. I will say that most couples within our church are young (as we are) and their discipline seems to be very lax. In other words most of the child are "wild". We are firm believers in "controlled" children. Our church does not allow children under the age of 12 in the sanctuary which I do not agree with. However most of the children would completely disrupt the service so I do understand their "rule" but I wish it was not necessary.
1. Married.
2. Both my parents and my in-laws are still married. (Rare in this day and time, I think.)
3. Yes! All the time!
4. Marriage conference in the spring. Other things here and there.
5. Parenting conference in the fall. General encouragement from staff throughout the year.
6. Yes. Our children's ministers are very family oriented and so is our pastor. Although we aren't family integrated (or even close) there is a strong sense of supporting parents in their endeavor to raise godly children.
As a staff member's wife I've been especially blessed that the senior pastor, personnel committee, and the church in general have no expectations of me beyond serving my family and serving the church *as God leads*. I'm not expected to be involved with everything just b/c my husband is on staff.
Our senior pastor is also a strong proponent of family mission trips, where the entire family serves together.
7. Probably an 8. I'm blessed.
Did I answer #5?
I go to the Bible, good solid books, and wise older women.
I have been married for more than 11 years. My Papa died when I was 19 which makes my Mom alone now. Yes, we attend our church every Sunday but seldom do we get sermons on marriage. For this year, I do not remember having heard of any teachings about marriage yet. Whenever we need resources for our marriage, we usually read the Bible or listen from my in-laws advices. Our church does not support much about parenting but we have not asked for it, either. Maybe 2 goes for our church's support on families.
Thanks!
1. I am married...married young, at 18 & 21. Going on 5 years! :)
2. Both of our parents' are still married.
3. We try. My husband works 48 hour shifts every weekend while he's attending school, so many Sundays we just try to stay together as a family.
4. Gosh, I can't say for sure since we haven't been able to go every Sunday, but I'd say at least 3-4 sermons? Not sure about special events, it's a tiny church. There are a LOT of small group couples Bible studies though that do a lot of marriage stuff.
5. Maybe a couple sermons, and they do provide parenting classes maybe twice a year. We haven't been able to take one yet but I'd like to.
5. Our pastor is great, and we have several couples in the church who's marriage we really admire and kind of consider them our "discipleship couples."
6. Absolutely. Even the people I don't know very well are still like family to us and I feel very supported.
7. I'd say a 10, definitely. Not really sure what to say on ideas, but it's just the atmosphere there and the pastors focus.
Sweetpeas, thanks so much for your reply. I appreciate it. I'm pretty much a homebody too. I love being home with my family.
Anonymous, thank you also. I appreciate friends who bring food after having a baby too!
Esther, I think you made a great point about the marriage needing to be in order before expecting the kids to come into order. I think so many times we try to help the kids but not the marriages.
Anya, how wonderful your Bible study sounds! Wish I could totally just drop in!
Emily, I have honestly never heard of a place that has a rule regarding children in the sanctuary. Our church has Sunday school for all ages during the same time as the service but parents are welcome to keep their children in the sanctuary with them if they like, something I've always appreciated.
Charity Grace, it sounds like your church is doing a great job. Kuddos to them!
Hailey, I'm so sorry you lost your Dad at such a young age! I'm very thankful that mine is alive and healthy after some serious health issues years ago.
Brynna, sounds like you have a great church family as well. What a terrible shift to have to work for your husband! Sean and I married at 19 and 21 and I'm so glad we did.
Hi, I'm Kate i have been reading your blog lately but I don't believe I have ever commented.
1. Married, 14 months today :)
2. Yes, both my husband's parents and mine.
3. Yes.
4. Maybe 5 or so, my husband and I started a group for newlyweds, sort of a coffee and chatting thing.
5.About 10, families with children have a prevalence in our church.
6. No children yet, but I would feel supported, they have a great RE program and a daycare during services. The church also does many family nights, church members with out children are welcome too.
7. I'd give them an 8.5, they have retreats, socials and any church wide activity is family friendly. They work on the premise that strong families make strong communities and that children are our legacy, and we should create a kind informed and not self centered legacy.
Thank for asking :)
1. I'm married!
2. Yes, my parents are still married.
3. Yes!
4.Oh, maybe 5.
5.Hmmm...I'd say 4.
5. Thankfully we haven't had many bumps in our marriage road, but we would go to our parents, elders, or pastor.
6. Yes, mostly. The only thing that we have not been encouraged in (by some in leadership) is keeping our children with us in the worship service instead of putting them in the nursery or sending them out to children's church. Other than that our church is very supportive.
7. I'd say a 7. They are in no way against this, but we don't have many sermons, conferences etc that are geared towards building marriages and families.
Thanks for doing this!!
okay - here goes. Can I qualify by saying that I too feel passionate about marriage and family!
1. married - 10 years, last month!
2. Parents are divorced. I was 16. My mom is still single but has been in long term relationships before. And my father is currently going thru his 2nd divorce.
3. We are VERY involved with our church. My husband is in bible school. So he works for the church and school right now.
4 and 5. I'm sad to say that our church has done nothing about families or marriages this year or last or even the year before that.
6. In the past we looked towards our old church (different state), our small group friends and leaders, the bible of course and books. These days, we pray ALOT and sometimes read up. We definetly could use some help and some friends that our age and stage.
7. Do I feel supported in my roll as a parent at our church? In some ways yes. Our church is more in the young stages, as it was planted 5 or more years ago. There are tons of children. I think that the leadership of the church is basically just trying to keep up with the kids. There is no time for them to encourage and strengthen or pour into the parents. Other then childrens church, there is nothing else that our church really offers to the families.
8. For the most part, there are a lot of very committed, revolutionary families in our church. I get the assumption that people think that the families are doing just fine and that there needs to be more focus on other priorties. Therefore I really don't want to score my church on this.
This is what I have learned, it is really important to have a Paul, Barnabus, and Timothy in your life. Someone who is above you, for godly counsel and wisdom on all subjects, including families and marriage. Someone who can come along side of you and encourage you and be a friend to you. And someone you can pour into yourself.
Perhaps its because the average age of the bible school student is between 18-24 or perhaps its even the whole desire to focus on the young, but I desire desperately to find spiritual parents or mentors that want to take on families (I'm 31) and guide them for a season. That is one of the main cries of our hearts right now. To find Godly mentors who will help direct us.
1. Married
2. My parents are still married after 40-something years. My husband's were until his dad died.
3. We go to church every Sunday except I have to miss one a month when I work.
4. I don't think we've had any.
5. We go to books for help, although we did have some counseling during our first year of marriage.
6. Yes, I feel supported because our church has good activites for the children and youth, but we haven't had any activities related to child-rearing yet.
7. I think that it is important to our church to have strong families, but unfortunately they don't do much to help.
8. See #7. I guess I would have to give them a 4. In our church's defense, however, we have only been a church for a couple of years, and we have only been in our church building for a little over a year. Before that, we "borrowed" another church's sanctuary to have services.
1. married!
2. Parents were happily married- my father passed away with cancer, then my Mom re-married, thankfully again very happily.
3. Do you regularly attend church? We don't now. We did 'religously' for 15 years, then left and now have home worship/study/family meetings.
4.How many sermons/special events in the church have been geared toward marriage in 2008? When we attended, it was a 'mini' topic in most sermons.
5.How many sermons/special events in the church have been geared toward parenting in 2008? Parenting was touched upon at least once a teaching as well.
5. When you need/want marriage help or resources where do you go?
Sounds crazy, but usually I look within and pray. Problems, though thankfully rare, are usually the result of a wrong judging, miscommunication, or lack of patience on my part. When my thoughts change and are corrected, and I look at things through the eyes of my husband, things seem work out.
6. Do you feel supported in your role as a parent by your local church? How so? When we attended, there was a lady's group that shared a lot of support. There was a homeschooling group as well, which supplied a lot of support to parenting issues.
7. On a scale of 1-10, how focused is your local church on building strong marriages/families? I'd say it was a 9. Male leadership in the home was stressed and wives submitting in a Godly way- not the negative way the world sees it, was also taught. It's wonderful when a wife can leave her cares and turn to her husband for strength.
We learned a lot from the church we attended. Family is a number 1 priority with us. We hold weekly family meeetings to discuss anything and everything about our functioning family. I think the most important thing in a marriage and family is communication- it stops any roots of bitterness from forming and helps build ties to one another. That's also why homeschooling is so important to us.
Thanks for your blog- I'm often inspired about the important things in life. I put a link to this post on my blog.- hope you meet your goal!
Blessings!
1. Married for 23 years (7 children)
2. Parents 48 years/husbands parents have passed away.
3. Have attended a non-denominational church for past 19 years. Only attending 1 morning service on Sun. at present.
4. I can't remember, unless it was mother's day and that sermon was quite a disappointment, actually. And then Father's Day and that was more so. No special events that I can think of.
5. Same answer as 4.
6. When I need advice, I go to the Lord. Call my oldest and dearest friend whose children are older than mine. Homeschool resources, books, homeschool conferences, etc. Then dh and I talk and pray and determine what God wants for our family.
7. I would have to say no. Our pastor really doesn't support homeschooling. The children are "encouraged" to be in nursery if they cause a disturbance. Up to 1st grade they are "encouraged" to be in Junior Church. Sunday school--my feeling is that when you walk in the door, the family scatters. There is not a promotion of Together As A Family. Our church is billed a Family Friendly Church but every activity, every event seems geared to separating the family..even every ministry. Men's Breakfast once a month--but your sons aren't welcome unless they are "adults"--that kind of thing.
In the Spring, after a home school conference, we decided that 2 of our children were in Sunday School situations that were contrary to what we believe is God's Vision for our family. Those children were too young to be included in the Adult Sunday School class with us (another separation) and so we decided as a family that we needed to come home and have a time of Bible Study together during that time. God is blessing our time together abundantly!
If your church is going to support marriages and support children (our pastor does have 13 children), then I feel that there should be more effort made in actually equipping the parents to fulfill the calling that God has on their lives. In our church, it just seems that every effort is made to create a wedge in the family. There are so many activities, so many events and very few of them are designed for the whole family to participate in together. If we were involved in everything, we would never see our children and we would never see each other.
A sad statistic is that 3 families, in the last 5 years have separated and divorced and these families were "key" people in our church--fully involved, fully committed.
My dh believes that God still has us there to minister and to be a light. I find it discouraging and am rarely encouraged or blessed. I must remember to look to the Lord for my fulfillment and be open to any opportunity to minister. We do do that within our home--oldest dd has a discipleship group for young girls and the moms come and we encourage each other in our marriages, home school, and families. Our Sunday morning Bible Time, ministering to family members.
Mainly just being open to the Holy Spirit and being obediant as He leads and directs.
If this too long, Hannah, just delete it! :) I've enjoyed visiting your blog over the last few months and have always been encouraged by your desire and longing to follow the Lord. (A case of the younger teaching the older?? :))
Blessings to you and your family,
Jennifer
(A fellow New Englander!)
Hi Kate, your church sounds like its on the right track! Many thanks to you and your husband for beginning a young married group!
Thank you, Laura for your answers as well!
On Fire for Jesus, I loved your in depth answers, thank you!
Thank you, Nikki, for your answers!
Ju-Ju's Place, thank you also.
Jennifer, thank you for posting too! Definitely not too long!
Blessings,
Hannah
1. My husband and I have been married for almost 18 years, only marriage for both of us : ) We have 7 children together.
2.Yes, both of our parents are still married. Both of them only marriages.
3.Yes, we attend a non denominational Christian church. It is called Family Life Christian Fellowship.
4. I couldn't give you a number, but I would say we have preaching regularly on marriage. One Sunday the pastor spoke to the men and then his wife spoke to the women. It was an excellent sermon on marriage. We used to have a Valentines Day banquet, it was lots of fun!
5.We either go to my parents or to our church.
6. Yes, we feel very supported, the whole concept of our church is to support marriage and family. This is the reason we picked this church in the first place. Children are always welcomed and homeschooling is strongly encouraged even though the church has it's own Christian school. The Pastor and his wife homeschool themselves. Our church has a fairly large congregation, at least 1000 members, and I would guess at least 1/3 of them homeschool.
7.I would score my church a 10. I know, I am very blessed. We have a dedicated family day every year as well as a Harvest Festival on Halloween. The men have Saturday breakfasts for fellowship and the women often have special ladies nights. These events are always for encouragement for marriage and family.
1. I am married!
2. My parents have been married for 45 yrs!
3. I regularly attend a GREAT church and am a children's worker there.
4. Our church has several sermons on marriage and parenting and a special group this year for married couples.
5. I believe we have just had sermons on parenting and no special event this year .
6. There is much to do at our church for families, so I feel VERY supported...we are gearing toward leading more youth to the Lord.
7. I would definitely give them a
9..it is a great church !!
1. Married!
2. Sadly, they divorced after 14 years of marriage. Mom remarried and is now widowed. Dad never remarried.
3. Yes, I attend church.
4. Maybe a few sermons, no special events.
5. A few sermons.
5. I pray - I go to Jesus for help in my marriage, and I always receive answers to our issues (even if it's not what I want to hear). Have tried looking to other books besides the Bible but always walk away disappointed.
6. Not really. My church is great but doesn't do much to assist me in my roles as wife and mother.
7. My church is probably about a 6. They occasionally do a program called "Homeward Bound" where they try to focus on family issues.
-Lindsay
1. Married 8 years
2. Parents recently divorced after 32 years :(
3. Yes
4. and 5. Mostly mother's and father's day or some brief words in a sermon
6. A couple of times, I've gone to older married couples that I can trust or just talk to God about it. Our church has marriage counselors on staff. I also like to read and listen to Dr. Dobson.
7. Well.... sometimes I think that our churches could of done a better job with that verse that talks about older women training the younger ones. One idea I've had is to start a program that would team older couples with younger ones to provide mentorship. They would meet and talk weekly either as a couple or women together men together. I also loved attending MOPS but that was with another church. Our church has a sunday school class focused on marriage but I am unable to attend.
7. Probably about average... a 5, since at least they provide free marriage counseling and classes.
Hope this helps!
I read about your blog on Laura's blog and decided to check it out! :)
1. Married- 2 years
2. My Parents are still married. My husband's parents were divorced then his mother passed away when hubby was 12 (alcohol related) and his father re-married and had then his youngest sister. They are happily married.
3. Do you regularly attend church? We do in the States. We try here to attend regularly.
4.How many sermons/special events in the church have been geared toward marriage in 2008? None :(
5.How many sermons/special events in the church have been geared toward parenting in 2008? None :(
5. Have no where to go other than books.
6. Yes. In the states we have a MOmmie's group. Here a lady comes by and is always helpful.
7. I can't understand all of the sermons here but they are pretty focused on family and marriage- 8.
1. Married
2. Parents are stilled married.
3. Yes, Baptist.
4. Mother's day & Father's Day
5. There has not really been anything specific, but pastor emphasizes the importance of teaching the Bible to our kids at home and monitoring what our kids watch and do in many of his messages.
5. The Bible
6. I can't say so. It seems like most of the people are to busy doing there own thing. The pastor's teaching is very encouraging.
7. I would have to say a #6. They have great kids programs and the preaching is awesome, but there are no extra special programs or groups for mom's or parents.
Thank you, Tonya,Mom of 4, Lindsay and New Mom for your answers! New Mom, I'm so sorry to hear about your parents split. Mine had been married a long time too when they divorced, I think about 20 years.
Thank you If and Kostman family too for stopping by to comment. I'm sure we'll have the fifty comments soon! I planned on leaving this post up for a week before closing it.
Blessings,
Hannah
Yes, I am married (6 years) with 4 children.
My parents are still married; my husbands were divorced before he turned one.
Church - yes, we are Southern Baptist...my husband is a pastor. My husband's preaching is exegetical and expository..so there are rare occurrences for "special sermons". When he gets to a passage where any type of charge can be given to parents or regarding marriage he does so heartily. No other special events have been scheduled for 2008.
When we need help with marriage or parenting we go to 1. the Scriptures, 2. those with wise council (the couple who gave us premarital counseling, my parents, or someone else God has put into our lives) 3. Amazon. :) We both love books and read whatever is suggested to us from those we respect. 4. Blogs.. similar to books.. I enjoy finding blogs that lift up marriage and children and take what I learn and apply it to my life.
There's a little support, but more is needed..not just for me, but all young moms. Our congregation is older and there are less than a handful of young moms in our church right now. It is a constant prayer that God will bring young families into our group.
I have been involved in other churches where the young married SS classes divided into small groups and met weekly or bi-weekly to go through books such as Sacred Marriage or books by John Piper (which are biblical, but not geared toward parenting or marriage)..we also divided husbands from wives for part of our prayer time so that we could be intimate with each other. NO gossip or putting spouses down was allowed. Only uplifting, God-glorifying conversation.
Being a part of such small group gave us like minded people with whom we could pray and reach out to.. Meals were taken whenever someone was sick or had a new baby, etc.
Our church gets a 5-6 on how focused we are as a whole in building strong marriages/ families. I think implementing small groups is one of the best ways of doing this..also, older women teaching younger women..and men doing so for men. We've become to self-focused as a society and need to get out of our little lives and reach out to others.
1. Married
2. my parents divorced when I was ten years old. Husband's parents never married and father died when he was 2.
3. Yes we attend church regularly.
4. Our church has some messages on family. We also have special events during mother's/father's day.
5. For marriage help, which we are struggling right now with, we go to a christian marriage counselor and our pastor.
6. As for feeling supported as my role as a parent, yes but maybe there could be small group "play dates" for moms/dads and children set up to get to get to fellowship with families in the church. (sign up sheets, etc.)
7. I give our church a 9 for how well they focus on the family.
Hi Hannah!
1. We have been happily married for going on 10 years!
2. Both sets of parents are still married.
3. Yes, we attend a non-denominational church.
4. I can’t honestly think of any sermons on marriage, although we have been working in children’s church a lot, and may have missed it!
5. I can’t think of any sermons or special events geared toward parenting.
5. For marriage resources: God, trusted friends, family, pastors, Christian book resources. Also we’ve liked www.marriagepartnership.com
Parenting resources: We love almost everything (books and on-line) we’ve read by Dr. William Sears. (www.askdrsears.com)
6. Our children’s church has been wonderful, and has been really great for our kids. Our church recently moved into the city and has been focusing on inner-city children’s ministry. So I guess you could say we are so busy supporting other people’s children, often with very difficult family situations and no caring parents at home. I can’t think of any specific parenting resources or support at our church.
7. I would not say this has been one of our strong points recently. A couple years ago our church hosted a MOPS (Moms Of Preschoolers) group which was great! It was not only a great support for marriage and parenting, it was a great outreach event to invite friends to.
Hannah,
All three of those books look great!
Interesting you bring up Mormonism.
My husband grew up as a Mormon (he is one of 9 children!) yet his parents are divorced. He is now a Christian. It is very attractive the lifestyle they portray, but what is missing is the heart.
I love your passion for marriage and family. I do think it is needed in the Christian church.
1. Married since 2001
2. Yes and so are my husbands parents
3.fairly regularily
4.none that I can remember
5.same answer as above
5. books & the internet
6. no
7. maybe 5, they are family focused, but I can't think of anything specific that they do off the top of my head
alecia.grimm@gmail.com
I stopped by from Nikki's Notes...she's my cousin!
1. Married for 7 years and I have 2 children.
2. My parents are married, and both sets of my grandparents are married.
3. Yes we regularly attend church.
4-5. Starting later this month we will be going through a program put out by Focus on the Family called The Truth Project. I don't know all the details, but I'm pretty sure that the topics include those that would be helpful for marriage and parenting.
We also have classes periodically geared towards marriage and parenting.
6. We have an excellent church library with many books on the topic of marriage and parenting. We also have a counselor on staff with the church who gives Biblical counsel regarding any issues we might have.
7. Our church hosts a chapter of MOPS, an organization for mothers of preschoolers, which has been a great source of encouragement to me personally.
8.I'd give my church a 10!
I know that the things I listed may not be feasible for every church, but I hope I've given you some good ideas. Keep up the good work in your church!
Hi Christa! Thanks for your comments! I have a few friends who are pastors wives and it can be a tough job!
Anonymous, thank you too for sharing your answers!
Ree, can you believe it has been ten years already? Your husband was making fun of my giveaway but we still love you guys! I'll have to check out marriage partnership.com! I just stopped helping with children's programs after fifteen years of being immersed in them. It is such a refreshing break! Sean still does the children's church one weekend a month, which will be three services a weekend starting next month.
Andrea, I have an aunt who was raised in the Mormon church and still has relatives who do and I also had friends in highschool who are Mormom. One of nine! How did he like that?
Alecia, thank you, thank you! I really appreciate everyone's answers!
Blessings,
Hannah
1. Are you married? Yes
2. Are your parents still married? Yes... since 1955!
3. Do you regularly attend church? I am not in a church at the moment.
4.How many sermons/special events in the church have been geared toward marriage in 2008? At the church I was attending... not many.
5.How many sermons/special events in the church have been geared toward parenting in 2008? RARELY anything!!!!!
5. When you need/want marriage help or resources where do you go? God's word and to friends I know in healthy marriages :)
6. Do you feel supported in your role as a parent by your local church? How so? At the church I attended (which was a large, growing Baptist church) I did not feel supported as much as I would have liked. The majority of wives were competitive with their husbands, the majority of mothers worked and could not ever imagine homeschooling, etc. It got me down quite a bit.
7. On a scale of 1-10, how focused is your local church on building strong marriages/families? Again...the church I attended did not do very well at that... and neither did the one I attended before that.
I guess to sum it up... raising 5 young children as a homeschooling Mom, I had a lot of struggles in church. That is not why I do not attend right now, but it still makes going to church difficult in many areas and it makes homechurching with several like-minded families a lot more attractive ;-)
1. Married for almost 7 years! Three kids, and one foster child we hope to adopt.
2. No, they divorced when I was young.
3. Yes.
4.None that I can think of. We typically go directly through books of the Bible rather than topical sermons.
5.None that I can think of, although our small group Bible study just now is finishing Shepherding a Child's Heart.
6. Wise mentors and our pastor.
7. YES! Our church encourages family worship corporately, as well as in the home. Children are a welcomed part of the worship service. Many church members volunteer to help with children ministries, and members are often reminded from elders and our pastor that when we baptize babies, the congregations takes an oath to help in the raising a spiritual guidance of that child as they grow.
8. I would say we are at a 8 or 9. Another thing our church has is called SureCord Counseling which offers counseling from a Christian psychologist at a very discounted rate. This has been wonderful for our church.
Small Group Bible studies, a women's ministry, and a men's ministry all foster accountability and guidance for people.
1. Married with children.
2. Parents married for 34 years. Almost divorced but my mom felt like God was telling her to hang on-and it was worth it.
3. Yes
4.1 special event
5.0--I'm planning on starting a MOPS group next fall.
5. Friends-my parents
6. Not really
7. 3 we have a once a year marriage night & there are marriage mentoring couples available
1. Married
2. Divorced
3. We have just recently started going again weekly. Lord knows we need it!
4 & 1st # 5. I do not know the answer to this one.
5. Either a counselor, friend, or try to find a book that might help.
6. We are still on search for a church that we both like and feel comfortable in. I do know that YES, the church we will choose will give good support to me as a mother, wife, and parent, as this is what we are looking for. I want some place that we can connect individualy and as a couple. One of the churches we are looking at does scrapbook night for ladies/moms, they have mom's outings, bible studies for ladies, wives, mothers and anything you can think of.
7. Again, we are looking for a home church, but I think again the one we will choose will be VERY focused. The sunday school class in one of the churches I like has a FABULOUS newly married class (as my husband and I are newly married w/2 kids (2yrs. married)), and it really seems like they focus on the things that are really important in your first few years.
8.
Hi Bridget, thank you so much for commenting! I can relate at being alone in the home education thing at church. I do have one good friend at church who homeschools and the rest of my homeschooling Mom friends are through NYS LEAH, which is a supportive community that I am so thankful for!
Beth, kuddos to your church for encouraging worship in the home! It is such a powerful thing for our children to see that worship isn't just a church thing.
Jessica, what a wonderful testimony of your mom's endurance!
Stacie, I pray you find exactly what you are seeking in a home church! Thank you for commenting!
Blessings,
Hannah
1. Are you married? Divorced, after 20 years of marriage to one man. Be assured that my heart's desire was (and still is) to be married to one faithful, godly man for life.
2. Are your parents still married? My father passed away 20 years ago, at the the time my parents had been married 43 years. My mother has remained single since his passing.
3. Do you regularly attend church? I do regularly attend church.
4.How many sermons/special events in the church have been geared toward marriage in 2008? Several sermons, but no special events.
5.How many sermons/special events in the church have been geared toward parenting in 2008? Several sermons, but no special events.
5. When you need/want marriage help or resources where do you go? I usually turn to prayer and the word or Christian books for help with parenting.
6. Do you feel supported in your role as a parent by your local church? I believe the church is very supportive of families and marriage and has a very strong ministry focus toward children and adolescents, but as a single parent, I feel alone.
7. On a scale of 1-10, how focused is your local church on building strong marriages/families? Again, my church would rate very high in their efforts, but I think the single parent is over looked. I have even asked for help repeatedly (male role models if you will) with little response. I have considered contacting Big Brothers/Big Sisters, but only want godly men to influence my children. So I pray that God will somehow meet my children's need for strong, godly male influence since I cannot fulfill that role and that He will give me the grace to do the best I can.
1. I am married 18 years
2. My parent were divorced by the time I was 2 yrs old, but they were married for over 10yrs.
3. Yes, we attend church regularly
4. We have small groups geared to enhancing marriages, but sermons to the whole congergation I can't remember any.
5. Again small groups
We really don't know who we would go to or refer anyone to
6. this is why I read blogs and books
I have been more encouraged by the homeschooling community then the local church. My husband and I have seen a need for more emphasis on biblical family life within the church.
1. Married 4 years
2. My parents never married, broke up 4 years after they met.
3. No
4.None that I have heard
5.None that I have heard
5. Internet--blogs particularly. I like reading personal "real life" stories of how people cope with challenges
6. I have no children.
7. 1 or 2--it doesn't seem to be a priority
Anonymous, thank you for taking time to comment. I was raised by a single mom without much male influence and I still see the effects of it sometimes in my own life. I pray you find the support and encouragement you need. Thank you for sharing, I really appreciate it.
Krissy, I think small groups specifically targeting marriage are a great idea! Was there a particular curriculum you used?
Anonymous,
Thank you for commenting too! really appreciate blogs too. It is a great resource for encouragement for me as we raise a large family and continue to educate our kiddos at home.
Blessings,
Hannah
Hi Hannah! I'll have to warn you that this will probably be LONG. That's one reason that I've been putting off commenting, however since I read that you're trying to get to 50 & you're almost there, I thought I'd go ahead & leave a comment/novel! Don't get me wrong, I'd LOVE to win the books but I just have hesitated to ever post a comment for months because I get so carried away(or as we call it in the south "chasing rabbits!"). So now that I've apologized, here goes:)
1. married(we will celebrate our 15 yr anniversary in September). We have 5 children ages almost 8 down to 3 yr old twins. We were married 7yrs before our 1st child came along & we ended up having 5 in just under 5 years! I was almost 35 when our 1st was born, so we're considered "older" parents, ha!
2. yes our parents are still married. Mine celebrated their 50th 2 years ago & my inlaws celebrated their 50th this past Feb.
3. yes we regularly attend but not the same church! Let me explain--we've been looking for a church home for a LONG time & since this is the 'Bible Belt' there's LOTS of churches. We've had a difficult time finding a fit for our family. So every Sunday we've gone to a different church wondering if this might be the one the Lord wants us to attend(& eventually join). It seems that most all of the churches here have gone contemporary & lots of them extremely so. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that you can only worship God one way. We have so many friends(pretty much all of them)that attend these type churches. We're just looking for one that still sings some of the old hymns---we're not asking for EVERY song to be a hymn but at least 1(& more would be even better!). We appreciate a sort of reverence where everyone wears their 'Sunday best' & not the majority of the congregation in beach attire! Again, I'm not saying that you have to be dressed up to worship the Lord but there's something to wearing your 'Sunday go to meetin' clothes. Growing up, my husband & I both had to dress differently on Sunday than we did on the days we were playing/going to school---& he & I came from very different backgrounds yet that seemed to be a common thing 'back then' no matter what type church you attended.
That's getting too long so I'll start another paragraph(see I told you this would turn into a novel!!). Anyway, it's just a bit uncomfortable for us to attend where there's so many people wearing cut off shorts & flip-flops. Something we heard an older lady say that really stood out to us---if we had a meeting with the President of the United States how would we dress. She thought that most people would choose to dress a bit differently for such an important meeting but yet worshipping God seems to be less a priority for dressing our best anymore?
Wow, all of this & I haven't even gotten through half of the questions---SORRY!!!
4. Most of the churches that we've visited haven't been geared toward marriage--then again we haven't visited the same church for 5 Sundays consecutively either, ha! There was 1 pastor that spoke on marriage the Sunday we were there & we really enjoyed that. We've done alot of research on the different churches that we've visited(on-line, calling & asking questions, even at times calling & talking to the pastor) & it seems to be a HUGE void in the church. What I mean is, my husband & I are concerned that Marriage & Family aren't 2 of the main topics of all churches. Unfortunately, it seems that those 2 subjects are only talked/preached about a time or 2 a year, if that. As a result, we've had to go online to find out about marriage seminars(like Family Life--that we were fortunate enough to attend a couple of years ago!)
Here I go again rattling on, but I'd also like to say that it's just so sad to us that churches seem so shallow these days. At times, it seems more like entertainment & even a social club, rather than worshipping God & being 'fed' each Sunday from the Word. Our family is by FAR NOT PERFECT & we know there's no such thing as the perfect church either but we've often wondered where in the world are the families that truly love God & you can see it in their lives & truly enjoy(& are thankful for)the children they've been blessed with? We long to meet others who are intentional in their marriage & parenting, but for whatever reason it has yet to happen. We realize the Lord is probably at work trying to teach us something as well! We just don't think it's patience since we have so many young children, ha!!
Finally on to the next question...
5. If not researching what the Bible says about a certain topic, then we'd go online & check out Family Life or Focus on the Family etc or blogs like YOURS!!
6. The churches that we've visited we've definitely stood out for having 'so many' children & the fact that they sit with us throughout the entire service(we've always enjoyed worshipping as a family & have done this since the birth of our 1st child). My answer(toward the end of question #4) would apply to this question as well.
7. Again, the answer would be part of the book I wrote to question #4!!
8. There is 1 church that we visited that I'd have to give a 7 to because of the events they try to have for moms/wives dads/husbands. They also have a monthly moms group that meets(with around 150moms in attendance---there's ovbviously a big NEED for this & so many churches/pastors don't seem to understand? but at least this one does to some degree). We just wish there was something that was offered for the 'couple' not just individual, always seperating everyone. You're probably wondering why we didn't feel like the above church was right for our family? Well, it happens to be one of those VERY CONTEMPORARY churches that just doesn't work with what my husband(& I!)desire. We do have several friends that go there & very much enjoy it & we're very glad for them but we don't want to go to a church just because we have friends that go there! We want what the Lord wants for us, if HE'll just reveal it to us!! We know He has a reason for putting us off so long. His ways are always best. My life verse is Proverbs 3:5&6 & I have to remember to 'not lean unto my own understanding but in everything acknowledge HIM & HE WILL DIRECT my paths' though it's not always easy to do at times.
I can't believe that I've actually answered all of the questions & I did it in less than an hour!!!!
Of course there's one more thing that I'd like to say(if you've read this far:) We REALLY enjoyed the sermon by Voddie Bauchum(sp?)that you had you had a link to in January of this year. Since then we've googled him & found quite a few sermons that can be listened to for free. We haven't had a chance to hear them all but the few we have are ones that should start a revival in our nation. He's on fire for the Lord & comes across so loving & is ALL ABOUT what God has to say about marriage & family. So, thank you for that link & THANK YOU for your ENCOURAGING, INSPIRING blog. You are a true BLESSING to others & are reaching more moms/wives than you can ever imagine.
Frugal family, I so appreciate the "book" of a response!
As you can probably tell from the photos of Chase's dedication, we attend a VERY contemporary church. Sean and I personally prefer a different style of worship than what we use, but I figure there is plenty of time during our worship at home for all that. I LOVE the new hymns that have been written and now our church sings some of them because they are considered trendy! Here's one of my favorites: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AXV6HJxUebg
I also appreciate things like dressing up on Sundays!
So, many thanks for your comments!
Blessings,
Hannah
1. Married 15 years
2. I was adopted when I was 7. My birthparents have gotten divorced. My parents and my wifes parents are still happily married.
3. We've only recently attended church since this Easter.
4. Not sure
5. Not sure
6. I would first have to answer I would turn to God, but after that I turn to our pastor.
7. I feel supported because of the day care at the church that is available during the sermons, Awana and during bible studies. Also the last 10 weeks' sermons have been over the fruit of the spirit. Many examples of how to apply the fruit of the spirit in our lives are family oriented.
8. Not sure how to answer this one I suppose. I have not gone to enough churches to give an accurate answer. I feel many of our sermons can and should be applied to our daily lives. If you're a Christian and you are married, it should then apply to your marriage. One of the first prayers of each Sunday morning talks of possible problems in marriages and those are prayed for by the congregation. That being said, it would seem most Christian churches would be like that, but if so many people are still getting divorced, they are not applying the messages properly, which, to be honest, could be difficult to do if you're not in a loving marriage in the first place. It seems to be a very kind church, but as far as focused on building strong marriages/families? I would say a 6.
This post really touched me and concerned me as well, since our church (which we just recently left, for various issues) did absolutley nothing to promote godly marriages. More than half the people in the church were divorced/remarried or living together without being married, and our pastor did not want to marry my husband and I because he said he was too discouraged since everyone he had ever married had ended up divorced! We were married at a courthouse and are about to have our 3rd anniversary this September.
1. Married
2. Yes, my parents just had their 23rd anniversary!
3. We do attend church, although latley it has not been regularly since we were very discouraged with the church we were going to - but we feel God has led us to a church where we are meant to be so plan on being faithful atendees there from here on out!
4.At our old church - None. At our new church, I don't know.
5.At our old church, one was, on Father's Day.
5. To the Scriptures, or to my mothter, who is a godly Christian woman.
6. No. . .at our old church I was often criticized for lack of blankets on the babies, or too many blankets, or because we had them out in the service with us rather than putting them in the nursery, etc. etc.
7. I'd say 0-1. It seems people there have given up hope.
1. Married.
2. Yes my parents are still married.
3. Yes we attend church Sunday Morning, Sunday Night, and Wednesday Night.
4.None
5.3-4 Sermons like Father's Days & Mother's Day, and maybe a few more, but probably not dedicated to only parenting/
5. Books or search the Web.
6. Not really, except for positive comments by other members of the church! It really helps hearing someone else tell you what a great job you seem to be doing in parenting, or seeing a difference in your children...when you are feeling like a failure it feels good to know someone else can see Jesus in your family.
7. I would give a 2, they just focus more on salvation that marriage and parenting. They have mentioned starting a parent night out, which I think would be great to give parents a night to themselves to rekindle and connect with one another, as it is hard to find babysitter that are free or nearly free on a tight budget. I would also love to have a class for Women that focused on how to be a Godly wife and mother.
1. Married
2. Parents- divorced. Dad left when I was 12.
3. Sunday morning faithful
4. zero
5. zero. About 3 years ago a few people tried to get a parenting presentation/seminar/something or other together through Family Life, but there was a specific number of people sign-up requirement which was not met.
5. (Um, there are two fives.) Internet, books
6. I don't feel supported as a parent. I think the church has made a mistake in following the worldly/cultural/public school model of age segregation.
7. The church as a whole I'd rate a 6. Sunday School has been the place with a marriage focus. We've done marriage studies which in my opinion were mildly effective.
What I think is most beneficial is developing authentic relationships in which people can share what they are struggling with and hear suggestions, join in prayer, etc...so I think you should continue in-home meetings. Also I'd love to hear specifics of what couples struggled with and how they overcame those obstacles. Kind of like mentoring, I guess. Except have the mentors meet with needy couples outside of church- preferably in homes-where real life takes place. Just my 2 cents! Thanks for the give-away!
I know this is waaay too late for the giveaway, but I somehow managed to miss this post in my reader and wanted to answer the questions, if they would still be helpful. If not, then please, delete this! :)
1. Married for three years in October
2. Yes, mine for 26 years and my in-laws for 30 (i think)
3. Yes
4. Sermons specifically and only about marriage, none. Sermons that include marriage in the servant attitude we should all adopt as Christians in an effort to be more like Jesus, many
5. Pretty much the same as #4. Because our church has many who haven't yet married, widowed, childless, etc. our pastor is sensitive to preach on how we all are to act as children of the Lord, not necessarily specifically as spouses and parents. There are classes and things, though.
5. Um, I never thought about it! I guess I look toward examples of marriages I feel are God-honoring and read books recommended to me. If we needed to go through counseling or something, we would meet wtih our pastor.
6. I would say I feel supported in my role, but not always supported in my views and ideals. Does that make sense? Not that people look down on me or call me silly for wanting to homeschool my children or spanking, but it's not really something that is often discussed so I don't know how people would feel about my parenting. Also, while there are a lot of families and mixed generations at our church, there are only maybe two families we've even had the chance to get close to. We've tried to connect with a couple others, but nothing seems to happen.
7. Isn't this sad? I don't know! We've never been to any of their Sunday School classes, and the sermons are, like I said, all geared to us as individuals in Christ (the thought is if you individually have a deep relationship with Jesus, that will outpour into your other relationships). I do have to say that every single thing that goes on at the church is family-oriented. Except Sunday School. :) But they have lots of programs and activities and things that are family-inclusive and everyone is always happy to see children and babies and enthusiastically willing to celebrate special things like births and baptisms and weddings and such.
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