Uncomfortable Confession: I used to be incredibly insecure. Confession is good for the soul, right? Worried about what people thought of me, my life, my clothing, my marriage and my parenting, my ...everything! Obsessively concerned. I knew a lot of people didn't approve of Sean and I marrying young or becoming parents in our early 20's. We were the first of our friends to go the parenting route and are now the first of our friends to go the large family route (Yes, that means I'm hoping others follow!) and I guess those criticisms grew and extended into other areas of my life.I heard a great broadcast on Family Life recently that brought back all those memories of insecurity . The topic was pride and people pleasing and as I listened, I realized that what I had always contributed to an issue of being shy or quiet or inadequate was, in fact, truly an issue of pride! Ouch.
Listening in, I found myself identifying with practically every example given! Isn't it amazing how blind we can be and isn't it wonderful how God reveals things to us in His gentle timing?
What exactly has happened as I'm approaching 3o, I don't know. I'm so thankful for the Holy Spirit working in my heart and life. Though the refining process has been extremely uncomfortable and even painful at times, I don't miss wondering how people talk about me or thinking that I'm inadequate in any number of areas.
Galatians 2:20 "I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.
21 I do not frustrate the grace of God: for if righteousness come by the law, then Christ is dead in vain."A real change began, I'm sure, as I began to identify myself fully in Christ and who He says I am and who He created me to be. How many different views the world has, talk shows have, the media has of what exactly a woman should be and how she should act and behave and think...
This summer I'm hoping to have a Mom's Bible study in our home, something I never would have considered myself qualified for or have thought anyone would want to come to. Old concerns surface as I wonder if women will want to come to a home that doesn't have a housekeeper but a busy Mama of five... or will they think I live too far out of the way... or will they think I'm arrogant to be young and wanting to host a study...
I really need to remind myself that what God calls us to do, he equips us to do and that the only thing that matters is having an obedient heart and willing spirit.
(art all by Linda Burgess and available at www.allposters.com)