Thursday, January 10

Trust


Part of the whole process of taking a time of prayer and fasting in the beginning of our year is to take time to pause. Listen. Reflect. Repent.
Granted these processes should be a part of daily life but isn't there something so unique when we set aside so much time to pray and listen? A dedicated time for tuning in...
I've written before on worry and trusting and how I one of the biggest struggles I have is worrying. In my mind, I've come a long way in this area. My immediate response if asked would be, "Yes, of course, I trust God. Completely."
And by all definitions I do. All except one.
Ask me again what I would do if I was driving across a bridge with my kids in the van and we went off into the water.... or if someone broke into our home when I am home alone with the children.... or if the love of my life died.... or if a small one of ours was taken...
I have literally thought through every worst case scenario I can imagine happening.
Gulp.
Doesn't exactly show a great trust.
"Oh, but you're just planning ahead," you reason for me.
Thanks but no thanks.
Doesn't there come a time when our planning and over planning gets in the way of God's divine hand? When the planning takes over His job?
What is God speaking to me during this time of fasting?
To repent for being fearful. To repent for planning out worst case scenarios by the dozen. To trust.

Edited to add: Read more on trust here.

1 comment:

Jeannine said...

I have been thinking along similar lines lately. I also say that I do trust God (and I do). But still where there are worries around, I'm really good at keeping them close to myself and thinking about what might happen/how conversations might go etc. all the time, playing them out in my mind. I have to hand them over to God again and again...