Thursday, September 27

(click to enlarge)

I'm a worrier by nature. I suppose its the sin nature that I have struggled with the most.
God IS big enough. He is in control. I continually remind myself and repent.

Last night as we were getting to bed, Sean mentioned a few things that got the worrying portion of my brain stirred up. Immediately, I scolded myself and said to myself. "It's alright.
God knows.
Maybe I can get up earlier and pray longer each morning.
Or I can fast a bit or give more. Somethings gotta work here."
My minds way of negotiating with God and trying to convince Him to move...


That word just literally popped gently out of nowhere into the bedroom with the cream walls and brown velvet coverlet and hit dead on its target of my spirit.

"What? I'm confused. Submit to what?"

"Just submit."

"Submit? Don't pray and continually petition You?"

"Submit. I know the situation better than you."

And so while this two liner conversation went back and forth between the Holy Spirit and me,
I got ready for bed and turned off the light, sliding between the sheets, my mind and body exhausted but my eyes wide open, trying to understand this new concept.

"Submit. Submit to what I want you to learn. Don't fight. Don't war.

With all that we went through with our son Aiden, I never submitted my spirit to the peace and plan of God. I used to tell Sean that I felt like an old lady. Tired. Worn out. There wasn't a day I didn't worry, a worst case scenario I didn't think through and there were countless sleepless nights having nothing to do with a newborn.

This morning was peaceful. I didn't feel a lump in my throat, my head didn't hurt and I wasn't tired. I slept well! Submitting to the divine hand of God hasn't been easy these past twelve hours. (You can laugh at me, it's OK.) I've wanted to think things through. What if this happens? What about this? Can we do this? My Spirit is tired from training to do the right thing.

In what area is He calling you to submit?


Anonymous said...

We so often think it is easier to try to fix things, figure out things on our own - and I even think that is what my job in life is! That's the problem with having a good thinking brain - but it is ever so much better when you leave things in God's hands and let Him work things out the way that is best - Follow where He leads - even in our thinking. Besides, I can tell you that all my fretting and figuring things out never made the solutions any better - but resting in God and trusting that He works all for good - that does wonders for me - and yes, even allows me to sleep better!

Me said...

So I have a good thinking brain to blame? Thanks! :)