I'm a worrier by nature. I suppose its the sin nature that I have struggled with the most.
God IS big enough. He is in control. I continually remind myself and repent.
Last night as we were getting to bed, Sean mentioned a few things that got the worrying portion of my brain stirred up. Immediately, I scolded myself and said to myself. "It's alright.
Maybe I can get up earlier and pray longer each morning.
Or I can fast a bit or give more. Somethings gotta work here."
My minds way of negotiating with God and trying to convince Him to move...
That word just literally popped gently out of nowhere into the bedroom with the cream walls and brown velvet coverlet and hit dead on its target of my spirit.
"What? I'm confused. Submit to what?"
"Submit? Don't pray and continually petition You?"
"Submit. I know the situation better than you."
And so while this two liner conversation went back and forth between the Holy Spirit and me,
I got ready for bed and turned off the light, sliding between the sheets, my mind and body exhausted but my eyes wide open, trying to understand this new concept.
"Submit. Submit to what I want you to learn. Don't fight. Don't war.
With all that we went through with our son Aiden, I never submitted my spirit to the peace and plan of God. I used to tell Sean that I felt like an old lady. Tired. Worn out. There wasn't a day I didn't worry, a worst case scenario I didn't think through and there were countless sleepless nights having nothing to do with a newborn.
This morning was peaceful. I didn't feel a lump in my throat, my head didn't hurt and I wasn't tired. I slept well! Submitting to the divine hand of God hasn't been easy these past twelve hours. (You can laugh at me, it's OK.) I've wanted to think things through. What if this happens? What about this? Can we do this? My Spirit is tired from training to do the right thing.
In what area is He calling you to submit?