Pride and its effects made itself know today in our home, I'm ashamed to say. I didn't realize an unnoticed and unwelcomed "guest" had tromped his dirty feet through our home and day until meditating and praying tonight on the subject of cares and wordly concerns. It was a long day today.
I felt so tense and for no reason that I could think of. The children were wonderful, my husband wonderful - life in general wonderful. But my "to do" list is growing by the minute in preparation for beginning school work and for a party we are having for our son Aiden. Before the party there are a lot of "littles" that need to be done - and anyway, that isn't really the point.
In the stillness of the car ride home tonight, all alone with groceries beside me, I began praying and asking God to change my heart.
As I was thinking and praying, I remembered the verse, "casting all your cares on Him, for He careth for you" from the Bible. Today I felt like a workhorse, laden down with the weight of heavy thoughts and things to do, just trying to get ahead on the next thing while being a good Mama.
I mentally gave myself a kick in the pants for not bringing my concerns before God a little earlier in the day. Whereas I usually keep the habit of praying through my day, today I made a habit of just thinking about everything instead of bringing it to God. Why?
Pride, I guess. A strong, capable woman should be able to sort through things, prioritize and accomplish, right? Truth is, even though I consider myself strong, my strength disappears in an instant when God doesn't order the steps of my day. I end up floundering like a wet fish, or feeling like that workhorse pulling the impossible load.
I love my job and I am very passionate about what I do. Pride makes me stressed, tired, weak, and an all around lousy Mama. Pride makes me forget to give every concern over to my Father in heaven. I am so thankful tonight, that "He giveth more grace" and "His mercies are new every morning".