Thursday, March 29

A Little Respect

Studies have shown that most women in the world today have a desire to be loved. It is a desire that surpasses any desire most women have for respect. Love. That is what we want. And so we give our husbands love. We find our little ways to let him know that we love him. Perhaps we write affectionate notes or cook his favorite meals or teasingly remind him that we pick up his socks "because I love you!".
It sounds like the making of a lovely marriage, right? Ladies, do you know that a man's desire to be loved is not first on his list of wants and needs? Yes, of course, love is important to him and he no doubt appreciates your loving gestures. What do most men want more than anything else? Respect!
A beautiful young wife sat across from me at the cafe table. I had been praying for words to say to her while doing our laundry an hour earlier. Her husband was home meeting with my husband. She told me in depth the troubles that they were having and I sipped my latte and listened.
"I learned something valuable a few years ago," I spoke gently, "that may come as a surprise. Do you know that men value respect over love?"
As we talked further I could see the regret wash over her face as she remembered the things she had said in anger to her husband. She wanted to know what to do.
"Start with this," I suggested, "write him a note telling him that you are proud of him and think of one good reason that you are proud of him and let him know."
This year Sean and I will celebrate our ninth anniversary. I may feel silly at times, always telling him that I am so proud of him for how well he provides for our family or how much I respect him for his business ethics. It would seem much more natural for me to extol to him all the reasons I love him. I love him and that's why I tell him I respect him.


~~Mikki Jo said...

Thanks very much for sharing this. Your right, respect is very important. My husband and I have been married 25 years this past November. It's been a bumpy ride, but I'm thankful for it. Even through the bad times, Christ has showed us the good that has come out of it all. I give Him praise for that. Have a wonderful weekend my sister.

Me said...

Thank you so much for your comments. I love that you have been married for 25 years even though it has benn "bumpy" and that you priase God for it!